𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄, neuvillette.

Chapter 07: It is Not Self-Seeking.

“I-I realised everything so late; that love isn't about satisfying yourself afterall.”

—

"Where should I even begin with this?" You muttered quietly, burying your toes beneath the warm sands after you took off your shoes. "Uh, in the first place, are you sure it's okay if I keep you here for this long, Neuvillette?"

"I can manage my workload fairly well, if I do say so myself. So, please, do not worry." The Iudex said honestly. He had piles of work to go through in his office, and a trial about tax evasion coming in the afternoon, but he can work his way through them if he tries hard enough. He can make time for you if he truly desires it.

"I see. Thank you." You lowered your head, fidgeting with your sleeves. 

"[Name], you do not have to tell me anything if you're uncomfortable with it. Rest assured I would not ask any questions either, so you don't need to force yourself to open up." He gently reminded you.

"But I want to." You said, a little more firm. "I want to tell you. Really."

He stared at you with sharp eyes, seeking for any signs of discomfort. But he found no lies in your words and actions, so Neuvillette slowly nodded his head. "Very well. Take as much time as you need, then. I shall quietly stand here to keep you company for a while."

"You're always so kind." Your smile looked a bit more genuinely cheerful that made him hum in approval just by seeing it. "...Back when I was a kid, I had no interest in academic books. I find them horribly boring and complicated, and sometimes, just by reading a page from an arithmetic textbook makes me snore in boredom—you know, like any normal child would."

"For a scholar, that's quite hard to believe." He blinked in mild curiosity.

You chuckled. "I know, right? I'm not a prodigy like Alhaitham, or particularly talented like Cyno, or even as diligent and smart as Tighnari, or as ambitious and idealist like Kaveh. I don't have anything special, and I am completely ordinary compared to them. Back in Gandharva Ville, I used to be a problem child, refusing to study and listen to the elders and opted to paint instead. I often find myself in trouble for that—especially with the way Sumeru views the arts that time. And many people thought, myself included, that being a scholar is not for me."

"Perhaps they thought being an artist suits you best." He guessed idly when you came into a pause. "And I assure you, there's nothing wrong with being ordinary."

"Hehe, I know. And no one in Gandharva Ville thought otherwise, actually. Anyway, I refused to learn how to read and to write, and if they tried to force me, I would cry and throw tantrum nonstop. I was a rebellious kid overall." There was a nostalgic smile on your lips as you looked over the waters. "It's so funny thinking about it now. Maybe because that's where it all starts."

"How so?"

"You know Tighnari, right? Out of my four closest friends, he is the one I knew the longest." You told him, gesturing a pair of fox ears with your hands on your head. "While I met the Cyno and the others in the Akademia already, Tighnari grew up with me. I guess he stuck with me because we are practically in the same age range compared to the others in our home. I hated him with a passion at first, like any other immature kid would, because he always forces me to study with him."

"So, that's why you called each other 'siblings from a different mother'." Neuvillette concluded pleasantly.

"Yep. And while he patiently and diligently tutors me without fail, getting me motivated to study is probably his biggest hurdle at that time." You snorted. "Though, as expected of him, he had found a way to…let's say, fool me into studying how to read."