Valentine's Project

Febuary 1

Febuary 1: Rain

The rain droned on, the chaos that is rain tapping away complicated rhythms on everything it hits. The bus window was covered with a sea of drops, each blocking what little cheerfulness the sun extenuates. Streaks of clarity mark the glass vertically, making it seem like blinds. Staring on lost in thought, I let my mind unshackle it self and drift to many topics lost through logic. Images from the past flew past quickly, each a snap, like the flash of a camera illuminating a darkened room, able to see it all, yet vaguely unsure of what is seen. The flashes progressed quickly through time, a birthday, another, a fight, a friend, goodbyes, broken promises, tears, all took their respective story and weaved it into a life that could have gone through better. A sigh escaped to join the many thousands I have released. Someone once told me that a sigh was “a gentle curse, blowing away the worries of life,”. How I wish it was as simple as that. A huge pink billboard flew past and making out one vague word which I though to be “love”. I could not help but snicker at the world. What could it possibly be? Having seen everything but it I could not say it ever exist. Some say it is friends that stick by you, through thick and thin, depend on you and help you. Some of the more ambitious boys I met said it was the physicality of it, the tangibility of the feeling that truly encompass the word and demonstrates it. The silent girls I coaxed answers out of mention the understanding, the feeling of being in touch in mind and heart, only to blush and run away before any further questioning. My uncle gave the most encompassing, idealogical answer, that being of the trust one can put in a person. To him I told of my little survey and added a little conclusion of mine. If love can be all these forms, it could only be all of it together, if such a thing could even exist, and that all the other views are mere shallow interpretation to serve their own needs but before I could elaborate further he merely threw a laugh at me saying I still had years of life ahead. Back then confusion gripped me at that statement. What had that to do with love? The bus screeched to a stop as I stepped lightly on to the wet pavement, taking in the refreshing cool moist air. Love was thrown back into the dark closet of my mind as I headed home with other more tangible discussions being thrown around in my consciousness.