Ch 6 - Idiot

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~CHRISTIAN~

I was an idiot.

I total, utter moron. Numbskull. Baka… and I could insult myself as much as I liked, but there was no changing it: I was an idiot.

The key to success is in the conviction. My father had adopted a fair few catchphrases in his time, but this one in particular seemed to be a favourite. According to my millionaire, business-man, CEO father, in order to keep of a successful facade you had to commit one hundred and ten percent - otherwise, someone would be sure to see through it. And then you'd never get what you wanted; success would elude you. You'd lose. 

At least… that's why I'd gotten from his philosophy.

And that's why I was an idiot - from the moment I realised I was gay, and the moment I'd been shot down into smithereens, I'd vowed to keep the "Straight Guy" mask fixed in place with all I had. And that meant going to extreme measures to eliminate any suspicion - we were talking girlfriends, party hook-ups, cheating scandals (with the "right" gender), and a moderate playboy reputation without the tag of being a total jackass to convince every single person I'd met that I was not gay. 

Three and a half years of commitment.

And all that was about to go down the drain.

Because I was an idiot.

Because… because I'd let my mask slip. I could tell - the way Chase's glances had changed from the occasional polite smile to a frequent, suspicious glare; a glare that had begun to appear more and more, especially when Nico and I were in the same room - that Chase was onto me. 

'Dude,' I grunted in the manliest way possible as Chase and I sat on the musty chairs on the deck, glaring out at the sparkling water as the footy blared from the radio, 'so, what's happening at this party tonight? And who's this chick you met? She any hot?'

Chase narrowed his eyes as he turned to regard me. He wasn't totally stupid, but that said, he wouldn't be the hardest to convince. Inwardly, I frantically flashed through the moments Nico and I had displayed - Sophie new, of course, but she wasn't the one I was worried about… maybe it was a bit extravagant, inviting Nico to this party, but I'd wanted him to be there… 

I needed an angle.

'Mmm… I guess so. She's got huge tits.'

'Sweet.' I cracked a big, fake grin. 'Hey, look man, I know you think it's weird that I invited your brother -'

'He's a massive killjoy,' Chase grumbled sullenly. 'He's just gonna fuck everything up. Why'd you bother?'

'Man, c'mon, the kid needs to get out,' I protested, trying to mask my wince. 'I reckon it'll be good for him.'

'Why do you care so much?' Chase questioned pointedly. 'Why does it matter to you if Nico comes or not?'

I swallowed and smiled, willing myself to stay calm. 'Dunno… you know, he reminds me of myself when I was in Year Seven.'

Chase blinked - he was obviously not expecting that response. 'Really?' 

'Yup. I was completely antisocial when I was, like, twelve.' It was a total lie, but it seemed to be working. Chase leaned forward slightly, raising an eyebrow in interest. 'Seriously, my Mum had to get a crane and a firing squad to get me out of the house… you know, I'd stay hauled up in my room all weekend, playing video games.'

'Really?' Chase smirked. 'Didn't know you were like that.'

'Yeah…' I gulped, wracking my brain to figure out where to go from there. 'Well, that was until a family friend who was a bit older than me took me to my first party. He got me a bit drunk and I had my first hook up… With this girl… I can't remember her name. Anyway… it was awesome. I mean, I reckon I could get the same for Nico. It wouldn't be too much trouble - there's plenty more parties to go to, and I know my life was way better after that night.'

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