Bits and Pieces

Sui Caedere

(this one is for the words that tangle themselves up in your head when you try to put them up together)

my thoughts are incoherent and I can't piece them up, 

but i know enough about this ache, 

and i want it

gone.

My heart pumps too fast, almost breaking my rib cage, and it hurts,

it hurts,

it hurts.

i should have been a better person,

i should have carried myself when no one else did.

Tell my mum she didn't raise her daughter to be shitty,

she just raised a shitty kid.

And I'm sorry for all the days I broke your heart,

and every time I let you break mine.

I'm sorry for all the ways my darkness never let your light shine.

I wish I wrote you better love songs.

I wish I held you longer.

I don't seek love, 

yet you're stuck in every cell,

every fibre of my being,

I need to breathe you in and then let you go,

never come back home.

I can't come back home.

the tangible is unreal and the pain is carved in every bone and i know no matter how many bones i break or scars i create, it will only get worse.