Yours But Not With Love

Chapter 8

I can honestly say I have never considered myself in a more awkward situation than I’m in now. I was staring in shock at Drake who seemed to be in some sort of shock himself at his words.

I wanted to believe that he was joking because it would hurt less but being mates I don’t have the luxury of ignorance where his feelings are concerned.

As much as I want to I just can’t tear my eyes away from him – Drake’s eyes were locked on me and his breathing was still laboured from his rant, he looked insane. I grow more worried by the second that he might actually combust, he looked stuck like a child who had said a bad word in front his parents.

I feel my body thawing finally and manage a simple yet poignant shake of the head and turned on my heel walking towards my closet slash sanctuary.

“Do not walk away from me”! Drake’s voice thundered through the room making my ears tickle in a horrible way. Out of fear I stand still, glued to the floor but I can’t bring myself to turn to face him.

“Look at me Charlotte” his voice was gentle now but it’s lost on me; I can’t take in anything more than I have without a serious case of mental overload.

I flinched when his cold hand touched my skin though I didn’t pull away.

“Charlotte, look at me”. I didn’t turn around and so Drake placed his hands on my shoulders and spun me to face him.

“Let me go Drake” there was a lot more in that request than the wish for him to let me leave the room and he knew it.

“I can’t, I meant what I said Charlotte”.

“No you didn’t” his eyes grew the darkest shade of red I’ve seen.

“Yes I did! Where do you get off telling me how I feel”?

“I get off love” I spat sarcastically “by the fact that I’ve had to live with whatever glorified speech you threw my way for the last four years of my life”.

“And as I’ve told you how I was with you then was an act! It was never real, except those first few months... you remember those don’t you”? He was mumbling now half ashamed half pleading. “Charlotte, you remember”? He tried again.

I do remember them because they were the happiest months of my life and the thing I drew on when he became cold and distant, in the months where he’d leave me with no promise of return or love – how could I forget something that I needed to survive.   

“Leave me alone Drake” I muttered.

“No”! He screamed and pulled me flush against him. I don’t understand Drake right now I mean he’s always been volatile but now he’s almost bipolar, one minute it’s I love you the next it’s him screaming in my face. “Mine” he growled dragging his hands down my body possessively and making my eyes roll to the back of my head in the pleasure of his touch. “See”? He whispered as my body went slack, “your body knows it’s mine, no one will ever be able to make you feel the way I can, they won’t ever be able to touch you the way I do”. Drake’s lips were brushing my exposed flesh that the towel wouldn’t cover – my collar bone and the beginning to my chest, my head was leant back so that he could have better access to it. 

“Drake” I moaned low and desperate, I always feel how much I missed him when he’s closest to me again.

“I know angel, I know; I’ve missed you too but I’ve got you now”. I couldn’t stop myself reacting to his hands and lips – I locked my fingers into his thick dark hair moulding our bodies better together and smiled as the moan passed his through his luscious lips to my ears.