The Older Man (BoyxBoy)

Twentyone

            “It’s not just about happiness. It’s about control. Once it’s out there’s no taking it back and I’ll do everything to make sure it’s gets out how and when I want it to. It’s our story and we’re going to tell it together. Everyone will have something to say but there’s nothing anyone can say to you or me because we did it together and we owned it together. Be patient with me baby, please, I love you,” I read from the letter Ian gave to me. I was working from home today so he came by to bring me lunch. Attached to that were roses in heart shape like the one he had brought me that day at the office.

            I’ve told him countlessly that we’re okay. Am I not convincing enough…because he worries about me getting frustrated with him more than anything else? As I dump the empty container in the trash can I try to remember if I said anything that may have jumped started this conversation yet again. I’m tired of having it.

            Sighing, I sat in Ian’s office and continued to work. It has been two weeks since we have been living together. So far the only problem we have is me leaving empty water, and iced tea bottles all over the house. That gets on his nerves but it’s not an issue, especially since I’m now consciously aware that I do that.

            It’s been great living with him. He has been working a lot lately. By a lot I mean coming home later than usual and going to work sometimes earlier than usual. If we weren’t living together I wouldn’t see him as much as I do now, which isn’t a lot at all, and I don’t know how that would turn out. He started a new line again. Apparently it’s really important and he gave himself a deadline. It’s all a part of some master plan that I don’t know about or even want to think about.

            I finished working then sent everything to Kevin through our network email. It was just posters for the new campaign that we’re still working on for the condom manufacturer. During my time off he had picked the cast for the commercial but put it on hold until I came back. He told the CEO that I had to leave the country due to a family emergency. What a liar. He was the one that pretty much suspended me.

            Sometime after I got out the shower I saw the notification light blinking on my phone. It was a text message from Ian.

            I’ll be home in an hour…making a call then I’m leaving the office.

            Did you eat something?

            Yea, babe. Cynthia ordered food for me before she left.

            See you soon.

            Since Ian wasn’t having dinner at home I decided to make myself a sandwich. It’s not as if I wanted something else but I liked when we had dinner together. Though my mind was set on a sandwich I ended up having frosted flakes. I placed the empty bowl in the dishwasher, looked around the house and pouted like a child. I miss Ian and I hated being in this big house by myself. Not because I’m scared but because I’m not used to it.

            I should’ve taken my coworkers up on their offer to meet up for a drink. I had said no to that for two reasons. One, I have someone to be with at home even if he’s working late but I’d rather wait up for him than to be out having a drink. Maybe I would’ve said yes if I weren’t out with them last weekend. Ian had been fast asleep on the couch when I got home a little after eleven. I had told him not to wait up. When I saw him I had cuddled up to him and kissed him all over his face. He had said he loved that I smelt like beer. Weird. He drove me crazy with his sweetness sometimes. My second reason was Carlos. He was getting way to brave for my comfort. I had told him I was in a relationship, but of course he didn’t believe me because I had no one to show him. Lying wasn’t my thing.