The Older Man (BoyxBoy)

Fifteen

Fifteen

            The sound of my clicking pen was the only thing heard in my office. Ian's face, his eyes, his nose, and his lips—everything about the gorgeous man occupied my thoughts. A conversation from a couple mornings ago flashed in my mind, as it has been doing ever since it happened.

            I made our breakfast while Ian was taking a shower. It was only two breakfast wraps with scrambled eggs and hams and cheese so it didn't take long. I left our breakfast in a warm toaster oven while I went to my bedroom to finish getting dressed. Unbeknownst to me, he went right back to bed after his shower.

            "Don't you have somewhere to be?" I asked him. I wasn't being rude, but he was Ian Stone. There's always something he has to do.

            "It's taken care of," he responded. I began putting my socks on then. "Since you're coming home early today I want to have lunch with you before...you know."  I nodded. "What do you want for breakfast?"

            "I made us something, babe," I responded. "Let me get this on."

            Ian had other ideas. He pulled me down onto the bed and I fell backwards. He had one arm around my waist and he was looking down at me with curiosity in his eyes.

 "Ollie?" he called.

            "Hmm?"

            "Why is there a truckload of condoms in the drawer of your bedside table?"

            He was serious. I was slightly entertained but I couldn't believe he asked me that. "Why do you sound so jealous?" I asked him. He had no right to be and he had no right to ask me that. He didn't answer me. What he did was turn his face away. He removed his arm from my waist, joining said arm with the other to cross it over his pillow to lie on. "There's no need to be jealous," I said. I swallowed my pride and my stubbornness when I realized it really bothered him. "My client right now is a condom manufacturer. He gave them to the agency."

            He looked at me then. I propped myself up on one elbow so that I could really look at him.

            "Just thinking that you were with someone else, and I know we weren't together for awhile but I just...just...I felt like my heart was slowly being torn in two."

            I think that my worst mistake will forever be underestimating his feelings for me. I know I feel strongly for him. I have so much feelings for this man that I feel wonderfully overwhelmed at times, especially times when he's right in front of me. So, if I feel this way for him I shouldn't be shocked, right? I guess it's surreal. It's hard to believe that this man, who is everything, and has everything, is madly in love with me. What sane person would want to believe that? It's like living on a high cloud and knowing it's going to burst any second, releasing a vengeful storm upon your heart.

            But my cloud won't burst. I know deep within my heart that if it does, it'll be reparable and it will be more durable.

            He has been in Italy for four days now and it was killing me not being near him or hearing his voice when I want to. Feeling completely empty and alone, I fished my phone out and wrote a text to the only man that ever really held my heart. I miss you so much and I wish you were here.

            A soft knock on my office door brought me from my reverie. Pushing my cheer back, I got up and walked over to the door, opening it slightly to see who it was.