After You... (1st Draft)

Chapter 7 - Two 'Someones'

This was another phone edited chappy, so go easy on me lol.

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                                       Chapter Seven – Two 'Someones'

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Darius stared at me like he had so many times before. Those times when he looked at me without realizing he was doing it. As if he'd caught me in his gaze and found himself completely lost. I remember that look. He was lost in whatever had made his mind drift and I had a sneaky suspicion I knew what it was.

For now this was the end, and I could see in his gaze he didn't want to accept that. He was silently refusing to. I could see how much he really wanted me to swap my words for something else. I could see that if we could have had one last moment together, he would take it.

I watched him for a short while in the silence. A silence that didn't feel remotely awkward, just...he'd changed. He seemed...lonelier. He gave off a solitary vibe and I couldn't help but think that through his difficult phase, he'd lost some friends along the way.

Regardless, I was the one to walk away this time. He wouldn't do it, and I realized watching him walk away for the second time would be too much, so I did. Mainly because he'd done it once, I'd be damned if I watched him do it again even if this time it was by my word.

I walked passed him, watching his eyelids slide closed and his throat move as I passed him, he lowered his head, he couldn't watch me walk away from him. It was as if telling himself it wasn't happening, or closing his pain away. I had no doubt that he loved me, but I owed it to myself to do what he did. To explore myself without him for now.

Maybe I'd come back, maybe I wouldn't. Maybe no matter what I did, who I was with or where I went, he would always be my heart. Maybe he was right and it would always lead me back to him. Maybe by then it would be too late for me and he'd have moved on himself. I had no idea. But stopping for a second, I wavered slightly, thinking for a split moment how I could walk away from the man who was laying his heart out for me. Wondering if I should go with the man who had my heart right now, or maybe go out just once with the man who'd made it skip tonight. The man who had been willing to if I was. That's if he was still up for it. 

After some time spent in the ladies, wiping the last of my stupid tears and examining my face, faking smiles to myself in the mirror to present to Kibbie when I probably needed her most right now, I observed my red eyes. They weren't going away any time soon. I waited. Touching up my makeup to discretely cover the lighter trails of my tears, I gave myself one final observation in the mirror. A quick flick of my hair, some false confidence later and I felt presentable enough to leave the ladies and join everyone else. I'd wondered if Darius had left yet. Would I see him? Would Kibbie? I paused at the doors before working myself up to exit with an uncertain breath.

As I walked through the doors, it wasn't long before I was stalled by Jackson's hand around my arm. I was actually relieved it was him. He asked me if I was okay, and having been out on the patio with me and knowing Darius had shown up he was the only one who could ask me that and really know why.

I told him that I was fine (I lied, I wasn't fine), but that Darius probably wasn't, as well as telling him I felt ready to go home now. When I said I wanted to leave he didn't argue with me, he completely understood. If it had been anybody else they'd be asking me why I wanted to leave, but Jackson already knew. I was thankful that I didn't need to explain anything to him. He seemed to perceptively have an idea about what went on between us out there and told me I didn't have to tell him anything if I didn't want to.

He said he'd tell Kibbie and he'd drive me home. I protested, telling him there was no need. I was pretty sure I could get one of the many black cabs that were always moving about this part of the city this time of night. Dismissing his offer politely, I felt like he needed to spend more time with Kibbie tonight.