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Tanya's POV
I could feel his pain because I felt the same pain too when I left him. Masakit din sa akin yung desisyon ko na lumayo sa kanya. Ten years kong dinala ang sakit na iyon. The difference between him and I was that I chose to leave him. Hindi niya piniling iwan ko siya.
Hindi ko naman sinasadyang masaktan siya. To hurt him was the last thing that I wanted. Akala ko noong mga panahon na iyon ginagawa ko yung tama para sa sarili ko at higit sa lahat, para sa kanya. I didn't mean to hurt him.
I hugged him even tighter as if to fill all the times I wasn't by his side. I believed what people around us said. That I did not deserve him. I did not deserve his love...
We were two young and broken people. We were so dependent on each other because of our pain and it was hard to break the tie. We were growing into each other that it was nearly impossible to untangle ourselves from each other. I wasn't my own person anymore. I was Wayne's. Natakot akong dumating ang araw na pati siya ay maniwala sa sinasabi ng ibang tao. Na dumating yung panahon na iwan niya na ako. I couldn't distinguish myself from him anymore. I would be nothing without him. Hindi ko na makikilala ang sarili ko kapag nawala siya sa akin.
It was then that I realized that two broken people doesn't make a whole. He loved me so much that he took every burden I carried and made it his own. I couldn't let him love me for the both os us. It wasn't right... I wanted to love him for all the right reasons. Not just because I needed him. I wanted to be deserving of him and of his love. I wanted to be whole on my own.
Mahal ko si Wayne. Hindi nawala ang pagmamahal na iyon kahit mataggal na panahon na ang lumipas. He did not deserve what I had done to him. Ten years after and I still was not worthy of his love.
Gumalaw siya, his arm pulled me in closer. He had me in his left arm while Therese slept in his right arm. Pushing my face closer to his neck, I kissed his jaw.
"Tell me you never meant to leave me. That everything was just a mistake. Hindi mo naman ako gustong iwan, di ba? You said you loved me... please don't tell me those were all lies. Say it. Just say it and I'll believe you. Paniniwalaan ko lahat ng sasabihin mo. Sa'yo lang ako maniniwala." He was in a desperate need of reassurance.
"Those weren't lies. Minahal kita noon at walang nagbago doon." I nuzzled my face into against his skin and closed my eyes. There was nothing better than having the two people I love most in this world next to me.
Para kaming totoong pamilya. Wayne moved in with us while we worked on the business we had together. It started with him spending the night or two in our house. Hanggang sa nagdadala nagsimula na siyang magdala ng mga damit dito. Before I knew it, he was living with us. He slept in my bed and made love to me every night. Therese was very attached to him and I could see how much he loved my daughter.
Hindi magandang nakikita ng anak ko na may nakakasama akong lalaki sa isang kwarto at nakakatabi sa pagtulog. Someday she'd understand that we weren't simply having 'sleep-overs' and Wayne wasn't simply my friend. Pero sa ngayon, hindi ko magawang itulak palayo sa akin si Wayne. Ayaw ko na malayo siya sa akin.
