Finding Happiness

Prelude 

No one is there to wipe my tears away. My emotions have dwindled away to nothing. I live in complete isolation, hoping to fill the hollow organ known as my heart. Like a withered flower I stand- frail and vulnerable -waiting for the rain to take me out of my misery. The only love that steals my soul is that from God. Everyone else around me sees right through me...my parents are always away; my friends (which are quite a few) are close but yet they seem so far... As for my love life, i've gone up and down and round tight bends. I feel that I need to redeem myself. That is why i've enrolled myself into the Amazing Grace summer youth camp. Hopefully, this place will take away my pain and sorrows. 

"Are you sure this is the right thing to do?" my mother asked me, taking me out of my train of thoughts. 

I exhaled. "One hundred per cent sure mother!" 

She sighed saying, "With you away, no one can take care of the bridal store." 

"Well, if I STAYED, I wouldn't be able to atone for all the things i've done..." I said matter-of-factly. 

"You have not done anything bad," mother said, a bewildered countenance painted on her face. 

I stared at her momentarily, thinking things through. If I went to the camp, i'd learn to be independent and possibly even make new friends. If I stayed home all summer, I would remain the same instead of making a change in my life. 

"I just want some relaxation this summer," I finally said, forcing a smile. 

She gave me a small smile, exiting the colossal bedroom, gently closing the door. 

I closed my eyes and bit my lip saying, "God, please show me the way." 

I stared into space for a while, brooding on my past experiences. Just thinking about what i'd been through brought me to the verge of tears. Why couldn't I have grown up with proper parents? How come I never had a mother-daughter relationship with my mother? Did my parents even want me in the first place? 

These questions troubled me. I quickly snapped out of my thoughts and continued to pack my clothes and other belongings. As I wanted to make a change in my life, I needed to BE the change. In doing so I vowed to myself that I would be an optimist. 

"Don't leave me hanging dear God," I prayed.