To Dylan

eighty-two

From Dylan:

okay, so maybe I haven't been exactly fair

From Dylan:

I shouldn't have assumed that you didn't care too much about me making that decision with my mom final, especially since you've spent your entire summer telling me how much you do care and I didn't mean to make it sound like you shouldn't care

From Dylan:

I just stopped texting you yesterday because I really didn't want to fight with you and I didn't think it would go well since you were already upset with me

To Dylan:

oh

From Dylan:

yeah. but I do get why you were upset. I apologize for not telling you and you don't get to try to apologize for anything back bc I know how you are

To Dylan:

I accept your apology then

From Dylan:

awesome. also um

From Dylan:

so that day when I told my mom about how she made me feel used we actually called a therapist and I went the next day and he's the one that suggested the mental health days and the reading and I didn't really like him because it just seems like he's being paid to be nice to me and listen to me because he is but anyway

To Dylan:

oh, well that's good. i'm proud of you for going dyl, even if you don't like him too much

From Dylan:

I didn't really want to go but I figured I should? anyway I didn't really like him because he kept asking me questions that I didn't want to answer but I did feel good after taking a mental health day and reading like he suggested and of course I mentioned you right?

To Dylan:

I don't know where this is headed, but right

From Dylan:

so I talked about you and he was saying like a part of you probably felt like it was your responsibility to keep me alive. and that's a lot of pressure for you. I didn't know I made you feel like that. I mean I knew, but not like that and he said that both of us should probably work on communicating like there should be certain things when we're fighting that's off limits

From Dylan:

like I shouldn't use wanting to off myself as a means to get my way and you shouldn't use the fact that I tried to OD against me (not that you would but he was just saying, don't get offended I don't think you would)

From Dylan:

I've only been to him twice and I still don't like him but what he says makes sense obviously that's what he went to school for, and I didn't really realize that I've been manipulating you sometimes? to feel bad and say sorry first. I don't mean to be a dick but I see that I am and I guess he's helping me understand why? I don't know I guess I thought he was going to try to fix me but he's really there to help me see why I feel like I need to be fixed. like I still feel like shit but he's helping me see why

From Dylan:

so um that's why I didn't reply yesterday. I didn't want us to say something that we regretted because I see that's happened before

From Dylan:

and I'd like to see you soon. if that's okay.

To Dylan:

I don't know what to say, dyl. not over text at least. I'm really, really proud of you. and yes, that's always okay.