The Lady

Chapter 15

After watching Elizabeth walk out of the room I stood there feeling restless. I walked over to a side table that held my needlework and took it to the nearest chair. After slumping down on it in a very unladylike manner I tried to focus my energy on the needle and thread rather than the events of the morning.

I lasted only a few minutes before throwing my work down in frustration after pricking my finger one too many times. After sucking the blood from my finger for a few moments I sighed dramatically to release my pent up tension, when that didn't work I stood and tidied up my mess. Spotting my discarded shawl from earlier I crossed the room, snatched up the piece of clothing and made my way out of the room and headed for the front entrance.

I had so many feelings of built up impotence and rage that I had to get outside and physically wear myself out.

Striding through the front doors I flung the shawl around my shoulders and breathed deeply drawing in the crisp fresh morning. Surveying the front garden for a minute or two I let the silence wash over me. While my insides were churning and raging with anger, despair and a feeling of hopelessness it was good to know that the outside world was still the same.

The sun was shining and the birds were chirping and the scent of Elizabeth's mothers roses invaded my senses and brought the memories of summers from long ago rushing back. No matter what room I walked into as a child here I knew that the smell of fresh cut roses would greet me. The scent comforted me when I arrived here all of those months ago after burying my parents. Being surrounded by the smell of the roses reminded me of the two women who I thought the sun rose and set on when I was young, my own mother and Elizabeth's.

Smiling slightly to myself I started to meander through the garden and headed towards the field that lay on the edge of the estate.

I kept my head down as I walked as I didn't want to turn an ankle or step on any messy business that animals like to leave for us poor unsuspecting humans. As I neared the field I spotted the woods rising behind it, feeling as though I still had so much energy and wanting to wear myself out I decided to walk the extra distance and peek into the place that had scared Elizabeth and I so much as children. The entire walk I had tried to focus on anything but my oldest companion, but of course it was rather impossible. Everywhere I looked I saw our history together, I saw gatherings as children with our families memories that were so intertwined in my mind. Oh Elizabeth, I thought to myself, what have I brought to your doorstep?  Looking back towards the estate I realised that I had actually walked further than planned but the walk had done the job, I was feeling quite worn out. Smiling wryly to myself I thought, now if only my mind was so easily spent I'd be feeling quite content right now.

Coming to the edge of the wood I thought back to the when were about ten and Elizabeth's eldest brother William scared us one night with his horrid tales of the woods near their home. Of course that scared us so much that we refused to go anywhere near it after that and William got what he wanted, he told us a number of years later that he only did it to ensure that he and his brothers would have a girl-free place to play.