Baby Doll (Harry Styles)

Chapter 35 - Conscience

He tightened his grip on my thighs, showing just how restless he was. Then he began to glide his fingers along the expanse of my thighs and grabbed at the waist in my jeans. My eyes widened when he pulled it down with adequate strength to leave me exposed from the waist down. My thoughts became all fuzzy.

My pulse sped, skittish nerves causing my fingers to tremble. "Do you want this?" Harry whispered against my cheek, prompting the flush in it. The question made my head pound. My thoughts were all over the place. I wasn't in the state to return a rational answer.

"Thalia?" He inquired, fingers brushing my cheek. All I needed to do was give him an answer. Rational decisions were always hard to make when Harry was involved. The few minutes we had spent together made it very hard for me to refuse him now. I loved him, I wanted him close. That was all I knew.

I acted before my mind could process the wholeness of this situation. I returned a nod and he dipped to kiss me again. This time it was slow, lips lapping over one another gradually, so gently. My hands moved to the nape of his neck, and his messy curls tickled my fingers.

I only realised how exposed I was when his cold hand whisked along my bare thigh, while the other supported his body over mine. My eyes closed, as my hands slowly moved along his neckline to rest on his shoulders. I hadn't noticed how broad they actually were.

My breath caught in my throat when I felt the lower region of my body lose contact with the fabric that covered it. I decided to keep my eyes shut, it seemed easier somehow. The next sensation was far from pleasant, in fact, it was somewhat excrutiating. It was so sudden, so foreign. That was when I realised what I had really gotten myself into.

"Harry..." I wailed at the sensation of our lower bodies meeting in such an intimate way. My fingers lightly tugged at his hair. The stinging pain grew everytime I felt him move. I wasn't aware of the dynamics, how this worked. As far as I knew, it wasn't supposed to hurt. Why would people do it if it did? Something was wrong.

"Look at me." Harry couldn't speak in his normal voice. Could he have felt the pain too? Why couldn't he speak properly?

"Harry." I complained, locking my arms around his neck to pull him closer to me. I buried my face in his neck. I needed him closer. It stung, it ached. A haze occupied my mind, befuddling me completely. I was so confused.

Another push, and I let out a small cry. His actions brought an odd yet strong form of pleasure to me, something I had never felt before. But the pain accompanying it was too obtrusive to be ignored. "Lia, open your eyes... please." He almost begged amidst all the panting.

I didn't want to open my eyes. I wouldn't be able to handle the sight. This wasn't me.


"I love you." I felt his whisper vibrate against my cheek, driving my emotions into a state of mayhem. Did he mean it? But it did no justice in relieving me of the stinging pain.

Harry continued to push into me and at a point I felt like I was on the verge of tears. What would we achieve from these actions? What would come after this? We breathed heavily, exhaling pants and gasping for air to allow our bodies keep up. Harry groaned, his hand grasping my waist as his head fell to my neck. He planted kisses there.


I learned to ingore the stinging sensation a little as a stronger feeling came into focus. The  pleasure heightened drastically and my body shook as did his, the muscles in the pit of my stomach contracting before the entirety of my body relaxed. My eyes shot open. Had Harry felt this too?

"I... love you." Harry repeated, murmuring against my neck as he drew out. He latched his arms around my waist and laid his cheek against my chest, breathing deeply.

The clamorous thumping of my heart filled my ears, my head pounded with conflicting thoughts. It just wasn't sinking it yet, what we had just done. What I had just done.

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Harry's POV

I woke up alone. My arm wrapped around a pillow. It was in the place of someone I expected to see first thing in the morning. I sat up, drawing my fingers over my heavy lids. I glanced around the motel room to search for Thalia. She was nowhere in sight. Fear acted up in my system at the possibility that she might have left. That would be the worst possible thing she could do to me.

Last night had been surreal, I was afraid it might have been a dream. I needed her. Now. The experience was unlike any other. I needed to know that she felt exactly the way I did. I never thought having Thalia would give me this much of a high. Somehow she had managed to invade my every sense.

I wasn't going to let her slip through my fingers. I'd do whatever was possible to keep her close to me.

"Thalia?" I called as I quickly tugged on my boxers. I pushed myself off the bed and headed towards the bathroom, praying she'd be in there.

"Lia?" I thumped my knuckles against the door.

No answer.

My anxiety grew and I pushed the door open. I was met with the sight of her seated on the rim of the bathtub, eyes bloodshot. "Wha- what happened?" I wasn't expecting this, well I did sort of expect this but not to the extent that the veins in her eyes popped a red colour. I hated it, I hated it when she cried.

"What did you do to me?" She said in a barely audible murmur, peering up at me. She still wore my dress-shirt, and she'd put on her jeans. It felt wrong when I tried to picture her without them.

"Lia..." I reached over to touch her hand but she quickly jerked away, like she was afraid of me.