Abandoned

November 23rd, 2005 :The Beginning.

Why do I always wake up in such a daze? These doctors here aren't very nice to me. I barley get to go outside to play and I have to eat at certain times. I wish my family were here. I've been in this place since November 3rd and no one has come to visit me yet.

I don't think my family likes me very much. They all seem to be scared of me for some reason. I swear I didn't mean to do what I did. I remember the time when I was 12 when mommy yelled at me for cutting Amelia's hair (Amelia is my little sister) in her sleep and how daddy hit me for being a bad boy. I hate it when daddy hits me. I don't mean to be bad, I just can't help it.

The doctors were very rough with me last night. I told a nurse I didn't want to take my medicine and she said that if I didn't take it that she were going to inject it into me with a needle. So I got mad and hit her so she made the big men come into my room and hold me down. I had already told her that I don't like them coming into my room, so I started yelling more. Then the doctor came in with a needle and I must have dozed off because I don't remember what happened after that. This place makes me really mad. I hate it here. No one wants to talk to me so I have no friends. Right now it's recess. The one thing I like about being here is that one nice nurse, I think her name was Mary, have me a big stack of notebooks when I had first come here. My mommy had told her that I used to write stories when I was 7 years old and that I was good at it.

I'm 15 know though and that was a really long time ago. Mary told me I should start writing again, she said 'it would bring out my inner child' or something like that, which is dumb. Daddy always used to say I should grow up and be a big man. Why do they want me to be a kid? I swear some of the doctors that work here are crazy. I should be the one injecting them with nasty medicine and putting them in the timeout room when their bad. I'm smarter than them.

In recess all the other patients here get to go outside. The nurses said that I have to be really good to go outside. I try really hard but they always say ' No Gabriel, maybe tomorrow'. I don't think anyone here likes me, besides Mary.  So I have to sit inside while everyone gets to play. I really wish I could go out there. I only get to see the sun through the windows in the rec room, and that isn't much fun.

The doctors and nurses just like to poke me with sharp needles and write down whatever I say when they ask me how I'm feeling. So then I get mad then they call in the big guys. I bit one of them once and they put me in the timeout room until I cooled down.

Mary told me that I'm too handsome to be getting so mad over small things. I don't see it though. I have black wavy hair and brown eyes and I'm a little taller than most of the patients my age, but I'm skinnier. I told her that I can't help it, some people just get me so mad that I can't control it. She told me that I reminded her of her son when he was my age (he's a grown up now). She said that he would get all angry for no reason, but he out grew it and now he's happy with a family. I want to be like her son when I grown up all big so I can have a big happy family and so I can be a good daddy. I won't be like my daddy and hit my babies though, I'll be good. Mary said that she hopes I grow up all nice and good like her son. I love Mary, she's like a mommy here. She doesn't inject me with needles or tells me to go to bed when it's really late. She sneaks me snacks (which she said she could get in trouble in for), and she stays up at night with me and talks to me until I fall asleep.

She makes living here a little more fun, but I can't wait for my real family to come get me out of here so I can go home to all my friends.