Magic || larry

28

Harry can feel the sadness crashing inside him like a tsunami. It demands to drown him from the inside out and he's not sure how much longer he can keep fighting for air.

It's been five days of him ignoring Louis. Five days of avoiding phone calls, deleting texts, hiding out back at work and sneaking in through the back to get home. Five days of quiet and Ricky's words bouncing inside his head like a mantra. He wants to call the police but he's scared and ashamed and stupid. He wants Louis to hold him but he can't because of all those things.

He sits on his second hand sofa, staring at the ceiling, wondering how Ricky still controls him even when he leaves. How can the man still have the power to break him apart even when Harry's left him defenceless? Why does Harry always let him win?

His heart rages in his chest as he pictures Louis on the last day. Louis with his face beat up and swollen, leaving Harry's boxes on the ground and being told to drive away. Louis with his smile of sun and his voice of warm breezes and his eyes of ocean so calm the sadness in Harry follows suit. Louis with his small delicate hands that hold Harry like he's his most prized possession and his skin softer than any flower petal. Louis with his stories of innocence and joy and his heart of the purest gold.

Harry can feel the emptiness in himself at his absence. Greater than anything Ricky has ever left. Ricky's absence left Harry clean and unsure but ready to stand tall. Louis' absence stole the air from his lungs and the love from his heart.

He contemplates finally picking up his phone, just so he can hear his voice. Is it worth the risk to call him? To tell him he misses him and needs him and craves him like nothing he's ever felt before? Is Harry really going to let Ricky scare him into losing something else too?

The knock on his door puts him on edge and he stiffens on his sofa. He stops to think of who knows his apartment number and the only person that comes to mind is Louis.

Harry forces himself up and he moves slowly and carefully to the door. He knows it's him. He can feel his body calling to him in the hall and he wants to throw open the door and fall into him and kiss him because he's missed so many kisses with him now. He unlocks his door and peaks outside and his breath leaves his lungs in a large gush.

Louis stands outside in grey jogging pants and a black shirt too big for him. His hair is poofy and his glasses sit on his nose, barely covering his black and swollen eye. His jaw has a bruise across it and his lip still looks sore and swollen. Harry still can't see a flaw on his face. Even the little bumps and bruises add to his beauty.

"Please don't lock me out. I had to convince an old lady to let me in the building," Louis begs and the sound of his voice is a knife in Harry's heart. How can Louis have such an effect on him? Why does it hurt so much?

"You shouldn't be here," Harry mumbles, moving aside despite his words to let him in. Louis looks at the space and then at Harry. Harry just keeps watching him and then Louis slowly steps in.

"I think I should be here actually. Kind of my role as boyfriend to make sure you're okay," Louis states each word purposefully and Harry looks down at his socked feet.

"You're my boyfriend now?" He questions, wondering when that development happened but knowing it was the first time he kissed him in this apartment. Maybe even before that.

"I thought so. I hoped so. I mean-" Louis falters and Harry looks up and sees his shoulders slump. Defeat is not a look suited for Louis and Harry wishes he wasn't the reason he had to wear it.

"He beat you up," Harry decides to dive right in and he watches as Louis' defeated face also shows shame.

"Is that what this is about? Because he beat me? Does that make me unwanted now?" Louis asks heartbreak coating his voice and Harry snaps up, his eyes trained on Louis.