Between the Lines

Notes/Ideas

draft for chapter 16:

(After a lot of back & forth Sutton slept over at Harry's, had sex for first time w/ Harry night before in previous chapter. )

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"So, um, can we talk about last night?" Sutton looks to Harry. He smirks down at her, and pulls slightly away to look at her. 

"What about it?" He smiles.

"What you said." Sutton says. Harry furrows his eyebrows.

"What did I say?" He says, actual confusion on his features.

"You said you wanted this..." She says smiling, slightly sitting up.

"Well... yeah. I always have." He responds. 

"So, shouldn't we talk about it? What that means." Sutton says. 

"I mean, I've always wanted this. The whole, friends with benefits thing. I want this" Harry points between the two of them, and smiles. Sutton face does not move from where it was. 

"Oh..." She manages to say. "I, um... I thought you meant something different." She murmurs, pulling away. 

"What did you think I was saying?" Harry says. 

Sutton tries to keep her expression the same, and slowly nods, although she can physically feel her chest burning. She leans back down, slightly distancing herself from the boy who has now given a detrimental blow to her heart. Her chest feels heavy, and Sutton tries to hold back tears. 

"Is everything okay? Did I do something wrong?" Harry says, trying to get those beautiful blue eyes to lock with his own. 

Sutton can't find her voice, she can't seem to grab a hold of things and she doesn't want to cry in front of him. She is just frozen.

"Sutton, talk to me." He asked, and Sutton finally looked up at him when she manages to blink the tears away. 

She opens her mouth to speak, but is completely overtaken by anger. 

Sutton can't help but think that this is all a game to him, he's never wanted anything more than a fuck buddy, and that's exactly what he got. Sutton had her hopes high, she thought that he would change, that he would sweep her off her feet and that they could be together. She wants to slap herself for being so dumb. 

"Um, I actually have to go." Sutton mumbles as she quickly gets out of bed. She grabs her clothes from the floor, starting to quickly pull them all on. 

"What? Why? Sutton, what's wrong?" Harry gets out of bed to, scrambling to put his boxers on as she grabs her bag and quickly walks through the door. "Sutton!" He runs after her, pulling her shoulder to turn her around.

His shoulders fall when he sees tears in her eyes. "Sut, what's happening? Please talk to me, did I do something wrong?" Harry pleads, and she snaps. 

"Did you do something wrong? Did you do something wrong? You're fucking joking Harry." She can't even think straight, the fact that he has no idea what he's doing. 

The look on Harry's face causes Sutton to clench her fists, trying not to give into her anger. 

"I don't..." He starts, but shakes his head as he can't even finish his own thoughts.

"Harry, the fact that you don't even know whats wrong is the problem. You don't understand? Do you understand that I care about you? I don't want to be your 'fuck buddy' Harry, are you fucking blind?" Sutton raises her voice, not able to contain herself any longer. 

"I-" Harry starts, but Sutton cuts him off. 

"When someone says 'I want this', you would think it means something more serious. Some kind of commitment! And to tell you the truth, if you hadn't said that to me, I don't think I would have slept with you." Sutton stammers, turning around and storming down the stairs.

"Sutton, wait-" Harry yells, following her.

"Keep telling girls things that you don't mean Harry, so you can get a good fuck out of it. It worked for me, I bet it will work for plenty of others." She yelled as she practically ran down the stairs, Harry right on her tail. 

"Please, just let me explain-" Harry tries to speak but Sutton cuts him off again. 

"I understand, you don't like relationships, I get it Harry. I was stupid for thinking that this could actually work. It's my fault, really." Sutton says, nearing the front door. 

"Sut, please-" He starts again.

"Stop! Please, just stop talking." Sutton yells, a tear finally running down her cheek. She wipes it as quickly as it falls, before speaking again. Her voice is wavering and she can barley speak without feeling like she is going to break into sobs. "See what you're doing to me Harry? I'm really into you, and all you've ever wanted out of this relationship is sex. Can you imagine how that makes me feel? You can't just tell me things like that, you can't just act in the ways that you have, if you don't mean it." She says quieter, trying desperately not to cry. 

"That's not true! You know I care about you too." Harry starts, approaching her. He looks like a puppy, a sad puppy. His face makes it harder for Sutton to leave.

"I'm leaving. This," She pointed between the two of them, "Whatever this is to you, is over. I can't do this anymore." Sutton shakes her head and opens the front door, and looks back at a lost looking Harry. "Bye Harry." 

Once she is down the steps, and a far ways up his driveway, she lets her tears go. 

There is nothing to do other than scold herself. She knew how Harry was, she knew his reputation and his beliefs, and she was an idiot to think that he would change for her. She pulls out her phone in attempt to call someone when she is half way up Harry's street, and suddenly stops walking. 

Sara is at work, James is too good of friends with Harry to call, Ellie may be a bit risky to call. She doesn't want to call Maddy, for obvious reasons. She didn't know anyone else enough to call them and pick her up, in this state anyway. 

She had absolutely no one, and the tears that ran down her cheeks only doubled. Calling a taxi service seemed to be her best option, so she did.

Ten minutes later, she was enduring an extremely awkward cab ride with a guy who wouldn't stop staring at her in the rear view mirror. When she finally arrived to her building, she quickly gave the man her money, and walked to her building. Once she reached her room, she felt safe.

A/N:

Dear Grace & Slime,

I just read through the whole story. Definitely one of the more difficult things I have done in a while lol. This shit hit harder than my old teenage diary FR.

Sharing this brainstorm I never posted. I remember this is how I would write - I would start with the scenes I was most excited about (aka the drama). Then I would write filler before and after to try and connect it all. So just imagine some more overly detailed descriptions of outfits, completely inaccurate depictions of a library (I can't believe this is how I thought a library functioned), and some more sentences where I use the word "seemingly."

Also imagine the above dynamics going back and forth for a while longer. A real "will they won't they" situation before Harry finally comes around and they start dating and fall in love and live happily ever after. The end!