Dyani

Part 23

During the long work hours, Charley texted me several times. I didn’t always have the time to reply immediately, but as soon as I had the opportunity, I would quickly text him back. He didn’t “flirt” with me again, not that I noticed at least. Around six, when I should have had my break, Jennifer suddenly asked me if I might have the time to help her in service, and I immediately agreed. It meant I couldn’t text Charley back, but I would get more money at the end of the month. I grabbed my first few plates and went to deliver them at the tables, while I walked between the tables to get back to the kitchen, I heard someone ask my attention. It was a boy, he seemed so familiar, I went back to his table.

‘Miss, could I please get another drink?’ he asked me, with a gentle smile.

‘Well, of course,’ I answered, smiling back. ‘What would you like?’

‘Hm.. I’d like another beer please,’ he said.

‘Coming right up.’

I walked over to the bar and poured the boy his drink and suddenly it hit me, it felt like all the pieces just fit together. I had seen him when I was buying my dress for the funeral, he had shown me three daffodils, then he had been at the funeral and I had even seen him once more, on the day I had gotten my new phone. I looked over at his table, but he was just eating his dinner, didn’t seem to recognize me. I walked over with his beer in my hand and set it down on the table.

‘Excuse me? Could I ask you something?’ I asked a little anxious.

‘Of course,’ he answered, smiling up at me.

‘Were you at my mother’s funeral? I think you were, with daffodils?’ I asked.

My eyes started to burn with tears thinking about my mother’s funeral.

‘I was. A friend had asked me to come that day and they hadn’t had any more flowers, so I got some daffodils,’ he said plainly.

‘Thank you. So I wasn’t going crazy,’ I said relieved.

‘We even saw each other on two other separate occasions, I noticed you, but I thought you didn’t recognize me,’ he said.

Slowly I lowered myself in the seat at his side.

‘No, I had recognized you in a way. You seemed so familiar, but the days of mother’s death and funeral seem so distant and hazy. I still..’

A lump formed in my throat, I couldn’t speak anymore. I gave him a small smile and bolted for the kitchen.

In the kitchen, I just started to cry. I couldn’t hold it in for my colleagues, even though I didn’t want to break down right now. It felt horrible to be so vulnerable. James, one of the junior chefs, came over to me and put his hand on my back.

‘Can I do anything for you?’ he asked, while he motioned for someone to get a chair for me.

I couldn’t even stop crying, long enough to answer his simple question. I was sobbing and tried not to make too much sound, I didn’t want the people in the restaurant would hear me.

‘Go… work..’ I sobbed to James, who was still standing beside me.

They offered me the chair and I sat down with my face buried in my hands. All the emotions seemed to come out, without me wanting them to. Missing my mother, the anger and fear that had come up for my father, the love my brother tried to give me. I just couldn’t take it anymore I just had to cry for a little while, let everything just come out. I hadn’t even noticed I missed my mother this much, I had thought of her every day, but never realised I missed her so much. She had always been like a rock to cling to, but now that rock had been washed away by the current and I was swimming up stream. This was me letting go, flowing with the strong current, towards the raging waterfall. I had to pick up, I had to start swimming again, get stronger and get out and break the current. Jennifer came to me and put her hand on my back, that was what brought me back to reality, somehow I immediately stopped crying.

‘Are you okay honey?’ she asked.

‘It’s… I.. Can I just sit for a moment?’ I asked her, wiping the tears from my cheeks.

‘Sure, take a few minutes,’ she said.

She put her hand on my head for a moment and went back to work.

A few minutes later I did feel better, I wanted to thank Jennifer, but she wouldn’t really know why. She had saved me from myself, from falling down a spiral of hurting. I took another deep breath and got to my feet, I had to get back to work. I entered the restaurant and looked for the boy, he his table had been occupied by a couple. Jennifer was standing at the bar, where we made the drinks.

‘Feeling a bit better?’ she asked as I reached her.

‘Yes, thank you for being there. I really needed to cry and the boy at table nine kind of made me. He didn’t mean to, but it happened.’

‘He left almost immediately after you went to the back,’ she said.

‘Did he say anything?’ I asked.

‘Yes, he wanted to say sorry, but I told you that in the kitchen. Didn’t you hear me?’ she looked at me worried.

‘I didn’t hear it, sorry. I was kind of in a trance, which you pulled me out of by putting your hand on my shoulder.’

‘That doesn’t matter.’

A woman in the restaurant waved for our attention, so we went back to our work.