No Ordinary Fan Fiction...

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(I don't own anything in this story - Hogwarts and everything to do with it belongs to J.K. Rowling) This is my first actual story on here, so don't forget to vote/comment! If you do, somewhere, out there, a penguin will smile. You don't need much more reason than that.

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"Last year at Hogwarts!!"

"Huzzah!"

"Quiet down guys, you're acting like first years..."

"Who cares? This year is gonna be the best!" A lopsided grin stretched across Joey's face - his crooked jaw making the bottom half of his face slightly askew.

"Heck yeah it is," Darren replied as they loaded their hand luggage above their heads and collapsed into the soft train seats.

Bonnie rolled her eyes at the two boys sat opposite her - they'd already changed into their robes, enjoying the funny looks that they got from passing by muggles as they steered their luggage trolleys across Kings Cross Station. Darren found it particularly hilarious when Joey's cart had hit a pothole and ended up with him lying flat on the ground amongst the crowd of busying people - who understandably, ignored him.

Suddenly, they felt the floor of the train begin to rumble slightly...
"Oh gaawwd," Joey's face screwed up into a scowl, "it's Bieber," he said his name like it was disgusting to taste in his mouth. Bonnie and Darren looked at each other, their brows furrowed.

Sure enough, Justin Bieber hurried past their comparment, disappeared after a sly wink at Bonnie, followed by what could only be described as a herd of girls all stampeding after him, sqealing and giggling as they went. Their thundering footsteps could be sensed from twenty compartments away.

"It's ridiculous, all those girls chasing him, just pathetic, such an asshole, stupid hair, lesbian," Joey grumbled to himself. He crossed his arms and looked out the window at the passing countryside. Neither of the other two argued with Joey's childish retorts; Joey had hated Justin ever since they had sat next to each other at the Gryffindor table in their first year.

Justin had been extremely arrogant at the time and had chatted up every girl in sight, including Bonnie, and then proceded to fling mashed potato at fith years and blame it on Joey.

Darren patted him on the shoulder, he understood more than Bonnie, who had tutted and gotten out her History Of Magic book. She hated Justin just as much as Joey, but even she had crushed on him in the past.

"Oh buggeration..." Darren sighed, exasperated.

"What is it?"

"I'm supposed to be in the head students compartment," he replied, fishing around his pockets for his Head Boy badge.

"Darrren! You didn't tell us you got Head Boy!" Bonnie exclaimed, smiling widely as he pinned his badge onto his robes, the gold and scarlet metal shining from polish. Darren shrugged, he knew how much Bonnie had wanted to be Head Girl, and how disappointed she was when she didn't get her badge in the post.

If he was honest, he would rather it was her than him that had to patroll the corridors at night, checking on students and making sure everything was fine and dandy.

He made his way down the train until he got to the compartment that Slughorn was sat in. He slid open the door just enough and squeezed in - wanting to draw as little attention to himself and his tardiness. However there was only Profesor Slughorn and another girl.

"Ah, Mr Criss," Slughorn said delightedly, "congratulations on becoming Head Boy!" He shook Darren's hand and his large stomach seemed to shake with them.

"I trust you know Miss Reece, our new Head Girl?" he asked, twirling his walrus mustache and indicating to the girl now stood next to him.

Darren did know her.

He'd watched her from a non-stalker-approved distance for the past six years of school, marvelling at her gorgeous gooseberry eyes and incredibly cute smile that had bewitched Darren's heart.

Sami Reece turned to him, her dirty-blonde curls fell to her chest. A tiny smile twitched at the corners of her mouth. "Congrats, Darren," she said politely, holding out her hand.

Darren shook it, then fumbled around, trying to think of something to say.

"Uh, your hair looks nice like that, I like it, It's... nice."

Sami nodded. "Thanks, I grew it myself."

Darren grinned, "I see what you did there... I saw that," he flushed pink, completely aware of how awkward he was acting. Slughorn was ignoring them and was back to gobbling down a chocolate frog while gazing out the window.

Sami was smiling at him, which made him nervous.

"I guess I'll just..." Darren moved towards the compartment door, "I have to go feed my, um, my pet Nargle." Sami cocked her head to the side, watching him intently.

Darren then tried to walk out of the compartment while the door was still closed. He collided noisily with the clear glass, making it shudder.

"Sorry," he said to the glass. He managed to slide open the door and stumble outside before saluting her goodbye. Her chuckling was the last thing he heard before he was bombarded with shrieks as Justin's huge herd of admirers all ran past him. He was bumped and shoved as he tried to swim against the tide, back to his friends.

A lost fish in a sea of flailing girls.

There's nothing worse.

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Chapter 1

Cast

Darren Crissas himself
Bonnie Gruesenas herself
Joey Richteras himself
Reese Witherspoonas Sami Reece
Lauren Lopezas herself
Robert Pattinsonas Edward Cullen
Kristen Stewertas Bella Swan
Alan Rickmanas Sour Grape Snape
Matt Smithas The Doctor
Johnny Deppas Captain Jack Sparrow
Julie Andrewsas Mary Poppins
Justin Bieberas himself
Benedict Cumberbatchas Sherlock
Martin Freemanas John Watson

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