Don't Let Go

Chapter One

Chapter one

"Cayson James Peterson, get up! You're going to be late for school!" Cayson heard his father yell.

"I'm coming!" Cayson snapped as he sat up and rubbed at his eyes. He had a raging headache from Hades and his stomach was rolling like he was about to toss the entire contents of his stomach. Hangover's suck Cayson thought darkly as he stumbled out of bed. Shuffling into the bathroom, he stared at himself in the mirror. His hazel green eyes were bloodshot red, courtesy of the marijuana that he had smoked only a few hours before. Cayson had come home from school, to get through his farm chores as quick as possible. After pitching some hay to the horses and doing a quick sweep of the horses stalls and then he had headed into the house to get ready for the party he had been invited to.

By the time Camden and their father Joe had arrived home from football practice and work, Cayson had disappeared, not wanting anything to do with their disapproval for his actions.

Cayson had wanted to get as drunk as possible so he could forget just how his much his father couldn't stand the sight of him. Cayson had succeeded in getting drunk out of his mind, how he'd managed to get home he still wasn't sure. He had been so drunk he could barely walk, so he knew driving hadn't been an option. His father may insult his intelligence, but Cayson was smart enough to know to not drink and drive.

Cayson sighed as he looked at himself in the mirror. On the outside he looked, like your average cocky teenager, but on the inside, his soul felt so black that even the brightest light couldn't penetrate it. Cayson had struggled with depression for the past four years. Cayson's father seemed to think that Cayson should be just like his football playing older brother. Cayson had news for him, Cayson wasn't anything like Camden Peterson. Cayson couldn't play football to save his life, he fumbled the ball more often then not. He always wondered what it was about him, that his father didn't like. Cayson was the spitting image of Joe Peterson when he was 17 years old.

"One day, I am going to be worthy of you, no matter what it takes, I will prove that I am just as good as Camden." Cayson mutters, before turning the water faucet on and splashing his face with water. Until that day Cayson was going to enjoy the alcohol while he could.

"Cayson James Peterson, you're worthless hide better be out of bed!" Joe Peterson shouted down the hallway. He was getting ready for work, and he didn't need to keep making sure his youngest child had gotten out of bed on time after a night of partying. His oldest son had been easy to raise, he'd never been anything like Cayson. He was the star football player of their Virginia high school, got perfect grades and worked hard at football practice and at home on the farm. In other words Camden was the polar opposite of Cayson, who didn't care about the farm, they were struggling to keep up with. Cayson cared more about drinking and partying than he did about school or any sports. Joe didn't mind letting Cayson know just how little Joe thought of the things Cayson worked hard at, like Art. He would rather draw than to toss hay to the horses or help harvest corn when the time came. Joe didn't think it was possible to more ashamed of a person than he was of Cayson. That kid was going nowhere and fast, unlike Camden whom had already won a football scholarship to VSU.

"I'm coming" Cayson snapped as he stomped out of the bathroom and down the hall after getting dressed. He was still tired and his head was killing him the last thing he wanted was to hear his father continue to tell him how useless he was. Cayson would never tell his father this but the more his dad told him how worthless he was, the more he felt like ending his life. Joe's emotional abuse had been going on for a long time, and he never felt like he had anything worth living for. A person could only take belittling for so long before it began to wear him down. He also wouldn't tell his father, that he secretly longed to have his dad proud of him for doing something or anything. But Cayson was sure that no matter how hard he worked, he would never gain his father's approval, especially since he was nothing like his older brother Camden. Camden was pretty much perfect in his father's eyes. Cayson acted like he didn't care what his father thought about him, but the truth was he just cared too much.

"You are a disappointment" Cayson heard his father mutter as he walked past. "Camden would never go out and get drunk every single night. He would never let drugs into his system and he certainly wouldn't be failing any of his classes right now."

"Do you honestly think, I care that I am not anything like Camden? The world would be a boring place if we were all perfect" Cayson glared at Joe, not allowing the man to see the hurt in his eyes.

"The world would be a better place, if you could get your act together?" Joe glared, his harsh words tearing into him even more. One day he wouldn't have to deal with this anymore, because what his father didn't know. He was done feeling like he was worthless.

"You are worthless and selfish, the world would do without people like you." Joe glared and Cayson sighed before glaring.

"You won't have to deal with me much longer than that."