Don't Let Go

Prologue

Cayson sat beside his brother's hospital bed, guilt eating at him as he watched the machines breathe for his brother. If Cayson hadn't been so selfish then maybe Camden wouldn't be lying her fighting for his life.

"I'm so sorry Cam. If I hadn't argued with you, maybe this wouldn't have happened." Cayson swallowed hard, tears choking him.

"It should be me in this hospital bed, not you. You have more to live for than I do. I'm worthless, I can't hold down a job for more than a few weeks." Cayson looked away pain eating at his heart. "I'm so, so, sorry Cam!" Sobs ripped out of Cayson, as he leaned forward and lay his head on the bed. The doctors had told Cayson that if Camden lived, he would never walk again. They had told him that Camden was paralyzed from the neck down. Knowing that he had a big hand in his brother's condition made Cayson feel more worthless than ever.

"If you don't make it then I don't want to live" Cayson mumbled against the sheets, as he raised his head and looked at his brother. Camden's eyes were swollen shut, and he had a cast around one arm that had been badly broken. Iv's were stuck in the one arm that wasn't injured. A tube protruded from the base of Camden's throat. The doctor's had also told him, that it wasn't likely that Camden would ever come off of it, if he was to live, he would depend on it for the rest of his days. That killed Cayson, knowing that his brother would never take another breath of air without assistance. All the things that Camden would never do again, flooded Cayson's mind.

"I want you to know" Cayson stood up and spoke softly into Camden's ear "If I could trade places with you I would in a heartbeat."

"Whatever you do, please live" Cayson begged as he sat back down. "It's selfish of me to ask that of you, especially with the way you would have to live the rest of your life but big brother, I need you. I promise I won't be such a loser anymore, I won't be such a screw up." Cayson could no longer hold the tears at bay. He was the world's biggest loser and screw up. He couldn't blame Camden if he didn't want to come back from the place where he was now.

Cayson would give up the drinking and partying and drugs, if only Camden's life wouldn't be so drastically changed.

"Do you always want to be a screw up that can't stay out of trouble? Do you want everyone to think you are a loser?" Camden's voice rung in Cayson's ears. "At some point in time your going to have to grow up, the world will be a better place when you do."

"Cause it's such a good place when you're struggling to make ends meet. You're stressed all the time. If anything, you need to learn to loosen up and have some fun." Cayson had snapped back, ignoring the sting of hurt from Camden's careless tossed words.

Cayson shook his head to clear the memory, that had been a nasty fight between the two brothers. Cayson knew that Camden had been worried about how often he'd been drinking and partying. Cayson hadn't told him that was how he was trying to forget about their situation. Cayson had also been trying to forget that he would never be as good as his outgoing older brother. It was hard living in the shadow of someone like Camden. Camden, who was an accomplished football player, who gave up his football scholarship so he could help his father try and save the farm that they had both grown up on.

Of course after hearing how he wasn't as good as Camden, Cayson had given up on trying to help on the farm, and had started partying and drinking heavily which of course, had caused even more problems for the brother's. Which lead only to Cayson becoming wilder, and for Cayson's wildness Camden was now paying the price.

Cayson sighed and rubbed at his eyes, he was starting to feel exhausted but he was determined to do something right for his brother for once and be there for Camden.