Chapter Twenty: Cruel

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Aira screamed loudly into her pillow, kicking her legs up behind her and strangling it as she did so. She had been so happy when she had heard Van's voice over the phone. It had been the first time in years she had actually spoken to him instead of talking through letters. She had almost forgotten what he had sounded like and then everything came flooding back when he had said that first word.

Van had sounded tired; his voice laced with wariness and unease. Aira couldn't help but notice he sounded harder, gruffer as if he had forgotten how to speak kindly. From what Aira could remember, Van had never spoken to her with such a haggard tone, granted he was never the kindest man in the world, but his voice would always soften when he spoke to her.

Sighing heavily, Aira pushed herself up and kneeled on her bed, staring blankly at the pillow she had just attacked. She always thought that when she first spoke to Van, it would be like when she was a child, mainly her babbling on and Van simply listening, commenting every now and again before he would simply grow bored.

"Hero..." she whispered, trying hard not to feel sorry for herself. Whenever Aira felt sorry for herself, she always ended up balling like a big baby.

"I have better things to do than play pen-pal."

In those last letters, Aira had poured out all her worries and frustrations to him. Every letter she sent before held her heart in some way, but those letters were some of the most personal, and he had not even opened them. He had not even bothered to even take a glimpse. He probably just threw them into a corner with the other trash.

It broke Aira's heart to know he hadn't even called to ask about her well-being. Emma had broken down and told Aira she had told Van and Aiden, and after being initially angry, Aira had waited by the phone, hoping that she could catch it when Van called... but he never called.

Aira took a deep breath as she ran her fingers through her dark curls, pushing her hair out of her face so that she could breathe and see straight. She was acting like some sort of jilted girlfriend, and that made her feel uneasy.

Aira was no idiot. She was perfectly aware that Van had always made sure she was looked after. He remembered what school she wanted to attend and made that happen. Van had even sent her flowers for a couple of birthdays after he left. The man also made sure she had the best tutors when she was home-schooled for that brief period of time. It was because of Van that Aira could proudly say she had perfect grades in all her classes.

Or perhaps, she just wanted to show Van she was worthy of his attention. There had never been a time where Aira had done something half-heartedly and pushed herself thinking of her hero. It was only in the last year she had given up trying and started skipping classes. Maybe she had just been kidding herself, and it wasn't her issues with the students at the school that bothered her. It was the fact Van would never look twice at her no matter how hard she worked.

Aira had even stopped looking at her reflection for too long. She had such a baby-face and no real curves to speak of. Her nose was flat and her lips fairly thin, but what really bothered Aira were her eyes. Her eyes were too close together. Other people said they couldn't see what she saw. Staring in a mirror for hours just picking out flaws in yourself tended to make your imperfections seem worse than they really were, she supposed. Aira knew what her issues were. She looked like a teenager, and she hated it despite the fact she was a teenager.

Aira could remember the day she started to dislike the way she looked, acted and spoke. Her mother had taken her to a high-tea event when she was fifteen with other mothers and daughters. Aira had felt out of place almost immediately when she looked around at all the gorgeous, elegant women sitting down and talking even Emma seemed to take on an air of elegance.

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