Breathe

6

I didn't want to go back to the apartment

even though 

I didn't have any of my school stuff.

Instead,

I found myself

walking to the hospital.

Visiting hours

technically didn't start

for another hour

since it was only 5AM,

but since I was Daiha's sister

I could visit at any time.

I sighed 

when I walked into her room

and found 

that nothing had changed.

She was still

lying there

pale

and hooked up to machines

unable to survive 

without them.

I sat in the chair

next to her bed

and took her hand again.

She was still ice cold,

her breathing steady

only because of the tube

in her mouth

giving her oxygen.

Just seeing her

like this

made my heart hurt

and all I wanted

was to curl into a ball

and cry

and cry

and cry...

It took me a minute

to stop myself 

from letting the tears 

fall down.

Instead, 

I figured

I should keep her up to date

on what she was missing.

What if she was like this for months?

She would miss so much...

I had to bite my lip

because I was about to cry

again

because this was all my fault.

If I hadn't been so selfish

so stupid

I never would have yelled at her

I never would have blamed her

I never would have run 

into the damn storm...

It was all my fault

all

my 

fault..

I was crying

despite trying so hard