Twenty-Nine // J.G.

thirty.

     M A R L E Y     

And so began my descent into the outside world, a place that feels foreign after spending a month in paradise and then another in utter isolation. I didn't want to be dragging myself away from the comforts of my apartment, but if I didn't scrape up the old Princeton hoodie from the bottom of the hamper now, when would it happen? When would I have gone back to living? I had always been an introverted and confined person, but for the past month I had slipped into habits that even the original Marley hadn't restricted herself to. It was time I truly got over Jack and everything that's haunted me since my return. I had to stop living in the past, a tendency that has cursed me no matter how happy I was in the present, because despite how hard I wished to return to the best month of my life, I couldn't. It was over. Jack wasn't coming back for me, and Sam and Nate were living their successful lives in LA. This is how it has to be.

I reached into the hoodie pocket as I walked in the cool September air, the seminar pamphlet crinkling beneath the anxious grip of my clammy hands. I had inevitably done so much research on this seminar that I truly didn't need to go, but I continuously reminded myself that I needed this. I needed to take every opportunity to reevaluate my life and get back into the swing of things.

When I got to campus, there was already a crowd of people gathered around a small stage, so I opted to wander around the back until the seminar began. I searched the audience for any familiar faces, though I quickly realized that I didn't care for any of these people. I hardly cared for this seminar. These were simply fellow students that I haven't spoken a word to and didn't plan on doing so here. Other than the occasional partners for group projects, I really haven't pushed myself to get to know any of my peers, just like it had been in high school. I began to wonder if I've grown apart from that Marley after all, but before I could delve into the horrendous overthinking of that subject, a short, pudgy man stepped onto the stage as the lights in the auditorium dimmed.

"Welcome students," He greeted while the buzz of the audience simmered to hushed communication, "to the sixth annual seminar discussing the topic of what makes us human. First, I'd like to—..."

Already I had drowned out the sound of his voice as I slipped into the abyss of meaningless thoughts. I felt enveloped into my own little bubble, alone, despite the vast company around me. It wasn't until the squeal of the microphone pierced my ears that I was sucked back to reality, though my focus turned towards the others to see if anyone else was as disinterested as I was. And then I heard it.

The sound of painful memories and overwhelming nostalgia mixed into a single voice. His voice.

"Hi.. H-Hello.. I'm Jack, uh— Sorry for interrupting your seminar. I'm sure there are some pretty interesting topics going on, but I have something to say." He paused to cast his gaze into the audience, and I instinctively shrunk in my seat, burrowing beneath my hood as if he could possibly pick out my small figure amongst the hundred others here. Twisting the microphone in his hands, he licked his lips before taking a breath. "About two months ago I met this amazing girl. She didn't like me at first, so naturally we made a bet. I promised to leave her alone if I couldn't give her the best thirty days of her life as a boyfriend. I lost, but we all could see that coming, right? I lost the love of my life because of stupid assumptions." Another halt as he reflected on the emotional weight of those words. "But I didn't come here to lecture a bunch of strangers about my shitty decisions. Marley Santana, if— if you're here," My heart rate spiked while I chewed harshly on my lip in anticipation of what he was about to propose. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry times a million. I'm an idiot who's so madly in love with you that I couldn't handle not being together. I was selfish not to see that I had asked so much of you in so little time. I now know that I had you all along, and I'm sorry for not realizing that sooner. Look, I could stand here like a fool and list off every goddamn reason why I love you until you forgive me, but I want to tell you face-to-face how much you mean to me. So please, if you're willing to hear me out, meet me at Starbucks in an hour?"