What's in a Coma?

Denial

I heard him cry for the first time, "I should have known" he says "it's all my fault." Every morning I look at myself in the mirror, my face is beginning to change, my cheeks are no longer red, I look very pale and I feel so tired. Jake is back, he just lays next to me in silence, his presence brings me peace, "we both know what is happening" he says after a while "what's that?" I reply "come on Anne! stop playing around, don't pretend you don't know" he says frustrated "Truth is Jake, I no longer want to know, I am ok with not knowing, I am right where I want to be" looking at me he replies " You can't possibly think that way, you've gotta fight it, it's been too long" I choose not to say anything anymore, how can he tell me to fight it, he doesn't know anything.  I close my eyes, and there it is again! my mother's voice, this time she isn't speaking to me though; she is talking to someone else, I can't recognize the voice, I can hear the other person whisper "we are doing everything we can" I can hear my mother crying. I know I should feel something but I don't, the more I think about it, the less I want to find out what all of this means.