Chapter Seven - The Scars We Leave Behind

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"I would have named her Nevaeh if it was a girl." Megan whispered.

"Why?" Emily asked even though she couldn't be heard.

After the memory had ended Emily was transferred back into present time at the hospital. Megan had finished her crying, her eyes and makeup paying the price. She recounted to Emily's body about the memory she had witnessed.

"Because it's Heaven spelled backwards. I don't know what I believe in, but I'd like to think that's where she is." Megan placed a hand over her stomach.

Emily forgave her.

She forgave her for everything. Nothing else mattered. Megan was her sister no matter how cruel she was. Now that Emily knew there was a reason-that was an entire piece of the puzzle missing she didn't blame Megan. Everyone had their demons. Everyone carried regrets. Emily had hers and so did Megan. Emily knew they were all just lost in this big scary world. Everyone just wants to be found. After we fall, we want to be strong again.

Emily feared her demons too much to put a single thought into the people around her. She couldn't even compare myself to a blind man. At least a blind man had some kind of courage to brave the world. Emily was a mouse with a broken neck in a trap. The trap had caught me long before the cat ever could. All because she did nothing but scurry away without thinking. If she would have just thought...

But how? How was she supposed to consider the people around her when they failed her? Why is everyone sorry after you're gone?

"Christian is in jail now," Megan told Emily."The cops arrested him since the scratches on his face backed up my story. When it started looking bad for him, he confessed to the whole thing. He was sent to jail, five years for domestic violence. Apparently it wasn't his first offense... They didn't charge him with murder though, the baby wasn't old enough." Megan's gaze lowered to her hands. "But at least he'll be behind bars for a while."

Emily wanted to drag him into Purgatory with her, but she held her anger at bay. It wouldn't solve anything now that she was dead. Emily could hardly wrap her head around the fact that Megan's miscarriage occurred last year. She recalled Megan coming home looking sick. Emily had grabbed the phone and dialed their parents, telling them something was wrong with Megan. Then they heard her screams from upstairs and swore that they were on their way. They made it home in record time, but ordered Emily to stay down stairs while they investigated. A few minutes later they carefully helped Megan to the living room and told Emily they were going to the hospital. Her dad's face held nothing but suppressed anger and guilt. Their mom was pale and frantic. They never told Emily what happened when the three of them came home two days later. The only thing they did was pull her aside and tell her not to bring it up ever again.

"Noah's been a real blessing though." A bittersweet smile etched its way onto Megan's lips. "We've been dating for almost a year. He's helped me through so much already. I told him about Christian-just that he was abusive and got arrested for it. He doesn't know about Nevaeh, but maybe I'll tell him someday..." Megan drifted off in thought.

Divina materialized into the room. "I sense regret, have you made your choice?"

Emily shot her a glare. "No, I haven't, and where have you been? Nice of you to show up!"

She pursed her lips. "That's a shame. I thought that memory would have for sure changed your mind."

Emily peered over at her body in the bed and remembered something she wanted to ask. "What do they think is happening to me?"

"I sent you into a coma to keep your body from fully shutting down. Otherwise, the drugs would have killed you while we were... traveling. The doctors have little hope for your survival, but of course that all depends on you."

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