“Why don’t you try to get some sleep?” I suggested. “There’s some stuff in the fridge, If you’re hungry. Help yourself.”
Remembering how he had spent the entire night outside my flat without moving, I decided I needed to be more specific.
“Listen Carl, look at me. You have to take care of yourself without me telling you to. Anytime you’re tired, sleep. You’re hungry, eat. When you’re thirsty, drink. Whenever you need to use the bathroom, go find it. You get dirty, clean yourself. If you’re in danger, save yourself. Even if the danger is from me, okay? I’ll be back soon.”
We had spent the entire morning in the same apartment, and now I was ready to eat him alive. Literally. A bit of fresh air and some space would do me good. I locked him into the flat, unwilling to risk him following me. He wasn’t happy about being left behind, but it was for his own good.
It was a bright winter’s morning, and the streets were relatively empty. I grabbed a sandwich from the nearest shop and made my way to the park. A woman bumped into me, and my fangs shot out straight away. I retracted them, but being so out of control rattled me.
“Wish I’d let the damn vampire eat him,” I muttered to myself, scaring an elderly man who was passing by.
I sat on a cold bench in a quiet corner of the park. It was nice not being close enough to a human to want to bite them. But I still worried about Carl. I had to get rid of him—to protect him from me. I would never hurt him on purpose, but I had come too close to crossing the line to ever trust myself with him.
I shivered; both from the cold and the niggling insistence I had to call someone for help. I was out of my depth and didn’t exactly have a list of people to turn to. Only one person knew the full truth about me, and that caused the distance between us. She hadn’t treated me well, yet I grew up craving her love and acceptance—no matter how much she failed me. She was my only familial link, the one my mother charged with my care, the one who could have loved me but didn’t.
At twenty-five, I could now stand as her equal. I could defend myself. But the thought of asking for her help made me feel like a child again. She’d always wanted to cure me, as if I was diseased. Facing the idea of asking her advice cut deep. I didn’t want to prove her right, but I had nobody else in the world to turn to; I ensured that when I ran away and made a life of my own, intentionally alone. The choice was out of my hands; I had to put pride aside to help Carl.
My stomach churning, I held my mobile phone to my ear and waited for a familiar voice to answer. One word threw me back into my past. The silver crosses, the holy water baths, the daily prayers to God for cleansing. The mistake I made that forced me to leave. One hello from Nancy, my grandmother, and everything I bottled up threatened to break loose.
“Hello?” she said again, her voice impatient. I hesitated, already regretting the call. I wasn’t sure what to say, or if she’d even want to hear from me. Our relationship has always been strained at best.
“Ava?” she whispered. I swore silently. How on earth did she know it was me? I cleared my throat, stalling as always.
“Uh, yeah, it’s me.”
“Ava,” she repeated, relief washing the tone of her voice, much to my surprise. “Are you okay? Where are you?”
“I’m all right.”
“Do you know how long I’ve been worrying about you? Seven years. Seven years, Ava! Without a phone call or anything! How dare you do that to me?”
I sat back and let her words roll over me. The familiar anger in her voice was almost comforting. I ran away when I was eighteen, after an intimate moment with my first serious boyfriend almost turned into a bloodbath. Too ashamed to go back home, I did what I could to make money and finally got a place of my own. I didn’t go far. I settled for a rough area she wouldn’t be caught dead in.
