Unseen Dusk

Chapter 2

Renesmee’s POV

I felt so safe just lying there with Jacob, a sense of security I hadn't felt all night. The same feeling I felt the very first moment that I saw Jacob...

I was with my aunt Rose leaning on her shoulder and I looked up, I remember feeling so uneasy about everything, so much was going on around me and I had nothing to make me feel completely at ease and feel safe. Then I looked up and I saw him... my Jacob, trembling ever so slightly he looked up straight at my anticipating eyes. Right then the very moment our eyes met and I felt the warmth that kept me safe, the shield that was constantly around me when I was with him. The security I was longing for in the first minuets of my existence was given to me by this boy and since then it had never gone away. As soon as my head reached the pillow I was plunged immediately into sleep, I had no reason to stay awake because now I was safe and for the moment no one was going to hurt me.

Even though I knew I was fighting an unwinnable fight, I didn’t want to fall asleep. I wanted to stay awake and just talk all night, like we used to when I was younger, but it was one of my human inheritances, one at a time like this, I hated. For weeks now there was something I needed to talk to him about, and tonight would have been the perfect moment - No dad to listen in through our minds; we were completely alone, for once.

I have always been close to Jake. He’s my best friend in so many ways, which I must admit, is pretty strange considering he is my mom's best friend too, but there are so many strange things in my life, and I’ve learned to deal with them. The fact that my mom and dad are practically the same age as me proves to be hard some of the time, but it also comes in handy some times. They both can or at least they try to understand what I go through, my mom understands more then dad, considering she was human in this decade, and after all I still am just a teenage girl. Jake is older then me and younger then my mom but technically, neither of them are getting old any time soon we are sure about that. None of my family are too sure about me though, Grandpa Carlisle is researching all he can to try to determine when I will stop aging, but it's taken him four years up to now. Mom and dad still think they are older then me though, always telling me what to do and how to act, but as much as I moan about it (it is my prerogative of course..teenage girl)I like it. It helps me to feel like we are a normal family as normal as we can get. The rest of my wonderful, wacky family, well, they all have their faults, but I love them.

Rose is the most protective aunt I have. She never lets me go out anywhere because she says I’m too vulnerable, even though I could take on anyone who tried me. That’s thanks to my Uncle Emmett, teaching me how to throw a punch, (without my dad’s agreement, of course.) And Alice is, well, I don’t like to say ‘favorite’ aunt, because I love Rose just as much, but she is the more ‘live your life’ aunt. She lets me do almost everything, and she is the one who took me shopping for my first batch of makeup. My dad didn’t like that; he said I was too young, and that I’d have boys all over me. Uncle Jasper is so serious all the time. He and Alice are so different, but the love they share is so pure and so unlike any relationship I have ever seen before. You can see it in their eyes when they look at each other… They are soul mates and that they will always belong together. They are like two pieces of a puzzle; they are harmonious to each other. This is what triggered me to realize that the feeling I have for Jake has grown. I feel different around him now, and when I look at him, I see only him, and I only feel him no matter who is around. I blush every time I’m near him, and I don’t know why but I can't help my self it’s an involuntary gesture... and to be honest I'm pretty lucky that my dad hasn't heard my thoughts yet. But when I’m with Jake, I like blushing. I like the feeling that goes with it. I had a dream a few nights ago, it was nothing like the dream I had tonight... well not at the beginning.

Me and Jake were in the woods behind my house. We were running, Jacob still in his human form and we were holding hands. We stopped abruptly at the edge of a stream, somewhere I had never been before and I knew that. He told me he loved me, and that I would always be his, and he kissed me! It felt good, and right. Like something had clicked. But then, the man; the same man from my dream before, came to take me away and said I didn’t belong with him. I hadn't realized I was having the same dream again, until I woke up, to Jake’s voice.

“Nessie, Nessie. Wake up sweetie, you were screaming” Jake said lightly, shaking me from my dream.

“Oh, god, I’m sorry. What was I saying? I’m fine” I lied, wiping my eyes. Only then did I realize I was crying again.

“You didn’t say anything. You showed me. You were screaming in your head” Jake said, pointing at my hand on his chest. I have this ‘gift’ were I can tell people things without actually speaking to them. All I could think was that if he had heard me scream, then he had seen the rest of my dream as well. He had seen my dream, seen how I now saw him and he had felt what I felt when he kissed me. There was no need to speak to him about my feelings now. He already knew.

“Oh god Jake. I’m so sorry. You were never meant to see any of that... Did you get any sleep?... I’m going to get a drink. I’ll understand if you want to go now. I’m sorry” I said, blushing, but not the blushing I enjoyed. I had completely embarrassed myself. I picked myself up off the bed and walked out of the room towards the kitchen.

“Nessie… ouch, crap. My foot!” Jake exclaimed. I heard a bang, and then realized it must have been his foot hitting something. I didn’t turn on the light on my way to the kitchen.

“I thought dogs were meant to be able to see where they were going.” I said, a little bit too harsh. I’m never harsh to Jake, and I don’t know why I was then. I was just so embarrassed.

“Jake, I never meant that. I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for what? The dream or the dog joke?” He said following me into the kitchen holding his foot.

“Both. You never meant to see that. And I never meant the dog joke. It’s Rose. She is rubbing off on me.” I tried to say with a little sarcasm in my voice. I knew Jake didn’t buy it. He knew I was embarrassed. He always did. I had my back to Jake, facing the window. I felt two hot hands grab my waist and spin me round. I continued not to look at him, so instead, I looked at the floor. Jake’s hand grabbed hold of my chin, and forced it up so he could see into my eyes.

“Will you look at me please?” Jake asked. I looked up and I saw Jake smiling with a huge grin on his face. I loved that grin - It told me everything was going to be alright. Most of the time. Now I just felt even more embarrassed.

“I’m sorry.” Within that second, Jake grabbed the back of my neck and began to kiss me. His lips felt warm against mine, and I didn’t know if this was because of my dream, or because he wanted to, but I got caught up in the moment. I let my loose hands grab his back and I gently pulled his body closer to mine. Jacob let go of my neck, and looked into my eyes, I saw eagerness in them, but at the same time I saw happiness. I was making Jake happy? That was all I needed… To realize that he wanted me just as much as I wanted him. I took his hand and placed it on my back, then placed my hands around his neck. Before I even had chance to catch another breath, Jakes lips had already found mine. Like in my dream, this was right. Just like Alice and Jasper, we fitted. We were the two parts of a puzzle. Just as I was starting to lose myself in my real life dream, Jake pushed my hand away and let his hands fall from my back.

“Wow Nessie, let’s just hold it there, okay?”

“Jake, I’m sorry. I thought… I don’t know.”

“Ness, stop apologizing. You have done nothing wrong. It was just going too fast. I don’t want you doing something you don’t want to do. I don’t want to rush this. I didn't even know you felt that way until now.” He said, his eyes meeting mine. They looked so apologetic, even though he had nothing to apologize for.

“I do want this Jake. I want you more then you believe. Please.” I said grabbing his neck again. He took my hand and held it in his. His lips found mine again, but this time the kiss was more gentle, and didn’t last as long as before.

“Nessie, please. Let’s just take this slowly. There is no rush. I’m not leaving you.”