Mimosa Pudica

Chapter XII

I groaned and buried my face deeper into the pillow. Life seemed to have gone up hill and back down in no time. I was now sitting at the bottom of that hill, wanting to be back on top.

Four's actions just reminded me too much of him. I finally escaped and thought I had made peace with the world and something good was finally going to happen.

I sink deeper into the cool sheets and let out a sigh, out of breath but not able to catch a break. I didn't want to be here anymore. In these past three days, I haven't talked to anyone or done anything. The world didn't seem to mind, neither did Four.

I take nimble steps to the kitchen, and take the steak knife from the drawer. It was a pretty knife, all shiny with a nice wood handle.

If I just run the rough edge across my throat and press, it could all be over. Did I want that? Did I really want to give up everything because of a man?

"Tris, put the knife down," a voice in front of me whispers, causing me to jump and look up. Four stands with his arms outstretched slightly, giving me a stern look.

I hug the knife to my chest, treasuring it like I would a child, and I shake my head, not finding the will to speak.

"Tris, the knife. I won't ask you again," he holds out his hand palm up, awaiting my movement.

"Go-Go away," I whisper dully, turning away from him. I wanted to know how he got in and why he is being so harsh.

I bolt around him, knife still in hand hoping to make it to the stairs.

He tackles me, forcefully taking the knife from my hand and throwing it behind him. "What the hell is wrong with you?" He screams, flipping me so I'm on my back looking at him.

Sobs escape my mouth along with some tears as I avoid looking at this man.

"Do you want attention? Is that what you want?" He yells, spit flying from his lips onto my face.

He softens a little, dragging my tears away with his thumb. "I gave you space like you asked and I come to check on you like I have every night and you're contemplating suicide," He murmurs, scooping me up and cradling me to his chest.

I missed him.

++++

He pulls me into his lap. "Oh my little Tris," he murmurs.

I curl into him, cries leaving my mouth. I want to hate him, to tell him to leave and never come back, but I can't. I can't possibly tell someone I love to leave.

"I'm sorry," I sob, feeling like complete and utter shit. I jumped into his lifestyle, I should have been prepared for when duty calls. I guess even if it means killing an innocent.

He shushes me, rocking my body slowly to get me to relax. He claims he should have prepared me for his actions and role of Alpha, but I stay silent.

I should have known how important I was to him, how important mates are to wolves. He's probably more hurt than I am.

"You haven't been sleeping," he states, turning me so I'm straddling him.

"I'm so selfish. I was thinking only about myself when I should have been thinking about you. I just love you so much and I was afraid when you didn't show up that you realized-"

He cuts off my rambling by placing his lips on mine. It was the first time we had ever kissed and it was complete and utter bliss. He was warm and soft, lighting up every sense on my body, making me feel tingly and whole.

"You said you loved me," he says quietly, smiling at me.

I blushed softly, "Of course I love you, Four. I've never felt love before, but with you it's so natural."

"My name is Tobias," he murmured. "I never finished from the other night."

"Tobias," I chuckled to myself. It fit him so well.

"Lay down on my chest and get some rest, alright?" He runs his hand through my scalp, soothing me into a well needed sleep.

This is where I was meant to be all along.