Alpha Brothers - the Lonely Brother (book 3)

Chapter 12

Chapter 12
Tarna
I hadn't seen Malcolm in a week and I was starting to lose hope that I ever would.
My wolf ached inside of me for two reasons. Number one, I hadn't shifted since that rogue attacked Malcolm and I in the forest. I hadn't had the energy to go running, too depressed by my lost. Number two, the biggie, I had hurt my mate and because of that hurt, he had turned away from me like he had his wolf.
Now, I knew that he said that he would come back after he had 'sorted out his head'. But I could bet a hundred dollars, that that's exactly what my birth parents said. Bye baby girl, we're goin' to leave you here while we sort our heads out, but we'll be back later. At the thought of Malcolm and my birth parents, I felt tears dropped from my eyes which I quickly wiped away. I couldn't be a lonly mess let alone a crying one. Get a grip Tarna I told myself, he wasn't yours to begin with.
But he was. He was my mate as much I was his.
My heart caught into my throat when I remembered the memory of the dark headed girl that had been running through my head all week. It wasn't so much that he was with her and he was kissing he like he should me but I remembered his thoughts when he had realized that he had killed her.
I had killed her. The woman I was going to spend my life with was dead. I had killed her.
I swallowed the memory, Malcolm's pain too much.
How could a dead girl have more of a hold on his heart than I did? And I had felt how they were with each other. Hello, I was Malcolm in his memories so basically, I had shagged the girl. I could sense that she was broken, more broken than he was now. I mean, she had drilled into his head that anything that he did to her body, had to be gentle. Talk about bitch. Come on Tarna I told myself, trying to calm myself down, you only hate her because Malcolm loved her, or still does.
I groaned, frustrated by my own thoughts. None of this was making me feel better.
Curling into a ball was a simple movement that made my stomach groan. I hadn't eaten in a couple of days. God, I was going through the normal girly break up stage. And Malcolm and I weren't even going out! Or broken up! Why was I bein' so emotional?
I was never a girly girl. Those type of girls scared me. I did not do makeup, skirts, dresses and when my adopted Ma gave me a Barbie doll once, I freaked and screamed until she through it out. She never did that again.
She and my adopted Pa learned very quickly that nature was my playground. No matter how hard they tried to get me inside, I had always found a way to get out.
I guess that's why when I finally shifted, I wasn't surprised. Because deep in my heart, I had always known that I was different.
I stood up knowing away to get rid of my hunger and get me out of this funk. Get back to nature. I stood and walked over to my box, fishing out jeans, a black singlet, jacket before pulling on my boots and heading out of my cave into a cloudy day. I could smell the rain in the air telling me that I probably had one or two hours of hunting time before it became a swamp.
I guess I had better hurry.
I walked around for about ten minutes, finding not a scent of a single creature. It was like someone had ran them out of the forest leaving only me. Maybe the rogue from before had scared them off or something. But unless I could get to the far end of the estate, I wasn't eating tonight
"Stop!"
I halted at a male's voice behind me. The memory of the Alpha flooded my head, reminding me of the last time I was trespassing on someone's land and how my torso was put through a shredder. I stayed very still, trying to come up with some sort of plan of escape.
"Turn around," the voice turned me, "Very slowly."
With shaky limbs, I did as the voice asked. I couldn't contain my fear or my nerves, knowing that I didn't have Malcolm to run to.
I hadn't realized that my head was down, looking at the ground, until the voice asked, "lift your head."
Licking my suddenly dry lips, I lifted my head. I had prepared myself to see a member of Callum Patterson's pack, even Callum himself or at least his Beta, but who I did see, nothing could prepare me for. My heart caught in my throat when I saw the grinning Malcolm amongst the shrubs.
"Malcolm!" I yelled before running to him.
Without even realizing, I had jumped into his arms and he had caught me, holding me safely there.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," I blurted out before I could stop myself.
"I know, I'm sorry too," he said, struggling to speak with my grip around his neck.
But I wasn't letting go.
"I promise, I will never do it that way again. It's your way or the highway or not even the highway if you want it," I told him, squeezing my eyes shut to memorise the feel of his body against mine. It shaped mine perfectly, just more evidence, if more evidence were needed that we were mates.
"There's a highway," he told me, making me frown and loosen my grip, so that I could see his face.
He turned his eyes away and licked his lip making me worry what he had to say.
"I have to tell you somethin'," he started, letting go of my legs and placing me steady on the ground.
He then took my hand and led me to a large boulder that could sit us both.
"Okay, what's wrong?" I asked him.
"I almost shifted in front of my family the other day," he told me.
I was so surprised that he had told it to me straight that I couldn't even process what he was saying.
"I didn't, but it was enough that my brothers feared that I would and sent their mates away," I frowned, recognising his guilt filled voice. It hurt him that his brothers feared that he would attack their mates, "But it was a wakeup call. I don't want to be the 'Lonely Brother' anymore and I don't want my brothers to always worry when their mates are near me. I don't want the twins to hate me and I don't want people to fear me."
"I don't want to be alone," I told him before I could stop myself.
When Malcolm's head turned to me, I quickly added, "Sorry, you were just sayin' what you wanted so I just thought that I would too."
He snickered under his breath, smiling a little.
"We can do it your way," I told him, wanting him to want this decision instead of fear it, "I'm not goin' to force another way onto you."
"I know you're not, but I...I have no idea where to start," he admitted, his voice full of air, showing his hopelessness.
"Well, what did you use to do to stay calm?"
At my question, his head dropped and a grin formed on his lips as he stifled a chuckle.
"I use to," he took a breath, "plat my sister's hair."
I burst into laughter, before he could say don't laugh. I couldn't either, no matter how hard I tried.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, laugh, ha, ha," it only fuelled my laughter more.
My lungs began to tighten and soon it became hard to breathe.
Standing from the rock, he explained, "Look, it started when she was five. She would seriously cry until I platted her hair and soon it just became somethin' that I did to cool off."
My laughter, became wheezed wobbles as I got my breath back.
"Okay, okay, Oo," I breathed like mediation, "We can try that."
He shook his head, immediately, making me frown, "What? You said it's a way to calm yourself down and I have plenty of hair to spare," I said flicking my long strands.
I hardly ever wore it up. The only thing I could manage were two simple braids that started at the front of my head and met up at the back.
"Come on," I waved him over as I slid down to the ground.
Malcolm rolled his eyes, but I had won him over which made me smile. Which of course he noticed.
"Stop smilin' Little Wolf," he told me, only making my smile grow as he made his way back to the rock and sliding in behind me.
Taking three large groups of my hair, he started to plat.
"Why, Miss Tarna, you have very nice hair," he stated, in a voice that wasn't his own.
I decided to play along and shrugged, blinking my eyelids.
"Why, thank you. I grow it myself."
"I can tell."
I jumped when I felt the familiar touch of his finger tip, running along the edge of my sensitive ear. The very contact, made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end and my teeth to start nibbling on my lip.
"Do you have sensitive ears Little Wolf?" he asked me.
The deep rumbling of his voice and the constant touch of his finger tip only made things worse.
"What are you playin' at Malcolm?" I asked, wondering why he was now so touchy feely.
"Like I said before, I don't want to be that person anymore."
It only made my confusion grow. Malcolm was by far the most complicated person I had ever met.
I bit my lip to contain the words, but they still found their way out, "What about Bon – what about that girl?"
Instantly, the touching stopped and so did his grip on my hair. I felt the bundle drop, hitting my back.  I knew that this wasn't a conversation I could have with him, with my back to him. So I stood, and turned to see a guilt filled Malcolm.
"Malcolm, I was inside your head, I know how much she meant to you."
"No," he said, standing, "You don't know."
I swallowed, not sure if I could actually handle this conversation but, I was forcing myself to continue, "You were goin' to spend your life with her, I-I know that."
"And you know that I was the one that killed her?" he asked, starting to walk around me like I was some sort of prey for him.
I nodded, swallowing his pain that still felt so fresh.
"Did you know that I had claimed her as my mate?"
My mouth dropped.
My eyes widened.
My body froze.
My heart stopped.
The bastard replaced me.
At that point, he was behind me so I had to turn around to face him. To his credit, he did look sorry. To my surprise, the fact that he had claimed someone else to be his mate wasn't what pissed me off.
"You couldn't just wait, like, five more years?" I asked.
He scoffed, "You're kiddin' me right? I just told you that I had claimed another woman as my mate and your pissed because I just couldn't wait for you."
"Aye," I said, "I mean, probably less. I've been livin' here for about a year."
He shook his head, trying not to say the words that he so desperately wanted to say.
"Come on," I told him, "Out with it."
He sighed, jumping a little, clearly struggling to say the words.
"You are...the most...amazin' woman I have ever met."
At his words, I let out a breath that I hadn't realized that I was holding. He thought I was amazing, he thought that I was –
My thoughts were interrupted before I felt fingertips on my jawline before they were nudged up to greet his familiar lips. They were dry from the growing wind but I didn't care. I reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck, feeling my skin electrify as I felt his hands on my hips and lower back. We kissed at a steady rhythm, sharing our mouths in a way that only certain people knew how. His grip around me tighten and before I knew, I was groaning.
As soon as I started, Malcolm stopped, worry filling his eyes as he said, "Did I hurt you?"
I frowned, before I remembered. Bonnie ran a pretty tight ship in the kissing, sex and whole touching body parts department.
I shook my head, purposely knocking noses with his before taking his lips again. I tugged at his lips before letting go, only to lean against the bridge of his nose. I was aiming for his forehead, but I was on my tippy toes and just under five foot, I still couldn't reach.
"I'm tougher than I look," I whispered, "You can never hurt me."
At that, he pulled me to him, not being gentle, before kissing me hard. I had to say, I kind of enjoyed it. I never pictured me as a type of girl that liked it rough but when you had a man that was growling inside of your mouth and holding you like he wasn't going to let you go without a fight, how could you not be?
When I heard a rip of something, I let go of him. I wasn't sure why. I could feel my wolf stirring as she wanted to be claimed and she wanted to mark him, though we didn't have a pack that he could be apart of. But the idea of us skipping those important steps of a relationship, freaked me out.
"What's wrong?" he asked me, worried once again, "Did I –?"
"Okay Malcolm, get this through your head real fast. If you hurt me, I'll be screamin' and tryin' to get payback," he nodded, accepting that, "I just panicked a little okay. We were nothin' and then we were –."
"Eatin' each other's faces."
I thought about his way of putting it and nodded.
"Aye, I guess you can put it like that."
"Look, Tarna, if you want to take things slow, that's fine by me. Actually I would prefer it," I nodded, expecting that from him, "I haven't dated in...awhile."
"How long's awhile?" I asked him.
He sighed and hung his head, whispering, "Five years."
My eyes widened, "Five years!"
He jumped, shocked. I had yelled a little louder than I wanted.
"Sorry!" I said still yelling, "It's just, five years! I mean I get it, Bonnie and all but, five years!"
"Aye, okay, I get it. It's been a long time. Please stop yellin'."
I nodded, trying to swallow my shock.
"Okay," I started, three decibels lower, "I'm good now."
He sighed, relieved.
"But how could you do it? I mean, your control level is clearly not high and even the best controlled wolves have trouble substainin' from, well, any human connect."
He shrugged, "I've always been different."
I nodded, believing him.
"So have I," I told him.
"I guess that's why the gods matched us together," he stated, taking a step closer to me, "Because we both know what it's like to be lonely."
I nodded, taking a step towards him, before once again, we took each others' mouth. I guess we were making up for lost time.