INFATUATION ⇢ CHRIS CHAMBERS

five

"Man, that was the all time train dodge - too cool!" Teddy exclaimed. "Vern, you were so scared you looked like that fat guy when he saw the mummy."
"I wasn't that scared." Vern argued.
"Oh come on, Vern!" Nina grinned. "You were shitting your pants!"
"I wasn't!" He defended.

"Hey, Vern. You better turn yours over." Chris suggested, looking at his slightly burnt food.
"This is the way I like to do it."
"Fine..."
His food then fell off the stick and into the fire. "Aw, man!"
The group laughed at him.
"You got any more, Gordie?"
"Sorry, Vern." Gordie said in between laughs.
"That's not funny, what am I supposed to eat?"
"You could cook your dick." Teddy suggested.
"It'd be a small meal." Chris replied. Nina had never laughed so much before. She rested her on Chris' shoulder as she laughed, making him smile.
"Aha!" Vern said, salvaging his food. "Screw you guys, I got it!"

Later that night, Chris handed out a cigarette to each of his friends. Nina lit hers before handing the lighter to Chris and she shuffled closer to him to keep warm.
"There's nothing like a smoke after a meal." Vern sighed, happily.
"Yeah," Teddy agreed. "I cherish these moments."
Chris then started to laugh, making Nina and Gordie laugh too.
"What? What did I say?"
Chris didn't reply, he just shook his head and put his cigarette back to his lips before noticing Nina had moved closer. He turned to look at her and smirked a little. "You've moved closer."
Nina shrugged and grinned. "It's cold."
Chris kept the smirk on his face as he opened up his arm. Nina shuffled closer as Chris' arm snaked around her shoulder and she resumed resting her head on his shoulder. "That's better. Hey, Gordo. Why don't you tell us a story?" He asked his best-friend.
"Uh, I don't know." Gordie shrugged.
"Come on!" Nina urged.
"Yeah, come on, Gordie! Not one of your horror stories, okay? I don't wanna hear no horror stories." Vern said, shaking his head. Nina rolled her eyes.
"Why don't you tell us one about Sargent Steele and his weatherneck?" Teddy suggested.
"Well The one I've been thinking about is kind of different. It's about this pie-eating contest." Gordie told them. "The main guy in the story is this fat kid that nobody likes named Davie Hogan."
"That's like Charlie Hogan's brother!" Vern interrupted. "If he had one."
"Good, Vern." Chris rolled his eyes. "Go on, Gordie."
"Well this kid, he's our age and he's fat - real fat. He weighs close to 180. But, you know, it's not his fault - it's his glans-"
"Oh yeah, my cousin's like that!" Vern interjected. "Sincerely, she always-"
"Vern, just let Gordie tell the damn the story." Nina sighed.
"Yeah, right, sorry! Carry on, Gordie."
"Well all the kids, instead of calling him Davie, they called him Lardass - Lardass Hogan. Even his little brother and sister called him Lardass. At school they put a sticker on his back that said wide load and they rank him out and beat him up whenever they get a chance."
Nina frowned.
"But one day he got an idea - the best idea a kid had ever had." Gordie grinned. He began to explain to them what happened at the competition - how he downed a bottle of castor oil and ate a raw egg before being introduced and threw up on Bill Travis, causing everyone else in the room to throw up. "But when the smell hit the crowd, that's when his plan real started to work. Girlfriends barfed on boyfriends, kids barfed on their parents, a fat lady barfed in her purse, the Donaly twins barfed on each-other and the women barfed all over the Benevolent Order of Analopes. Davie sat back and enjoyed what he created. A complete and total barfarama!" Gordie finished.

The boys cheered and laughed whilst Nina gagged. "That's disgusting!"
"That was the best! Just the best!" Chris exclaimed.
"Then what happened?" Teddy eagerly asked.
"What do you mean?" Gordie asked.
"I mean, what happened?" Teddy repeated.
"What do you mean what happened? That's the end."
"Thank God." Nina remarked.
"How can that be the end? What kind of ending is that? What happened to Lardass?" Teddy questioned.
Gordie shrugged. "I don't know, uh, maybe he went home and celebrated with a couple of cheeseburgers."
"Jeez, that ending sucks." Teddy told him. "Why don't you make it so that Lardass goes home and shoots his father and then he runs away and he joins the Texas Rangers, how about that?"
Nina rolled her eyes and looked at Chris. "Somehow I wonder how we're related."
Chris snorted.
"Uh, I don't know." Gordie shrugged.
"Something good like that."
"I like the ending!" Vern argued. "The barfing was really good.
"It was disgusting." Nina retorted.
"But there's one thing I didn't understand..." Vern continued. "Did Lardass have to pay to get into the contest?"
Nina rolled her eyes along with Chris, and Teddy, who groaned.
"No, Vern. They just let him in." Gordie replied to him, with a tone that someone would use on a 3 year old.
"Oh! Oh, great! Great story!" Vern smiled.
"Yeah, it's a great story Gordie, I just didn't like the ending." Teddy said.

"Verno, where's the radio? We can see if we can get some sounds." Chris suggested.
"Here." He replied, handing it to him.
Chris turned on the radio and smiled at the song that came on - he knew it was one of Nina's favourites, and when he turned to her, she was smiling too.