Chapter 32: Home is Where the Fists Are

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It was pretty much similar to any day...The repetition of asking questions flowed from Andy's mouth: "What's the problem? Are you stressed? You'll have to tell me sometime. Are you okay?"

I more often times than most pushed my horrid answers to the back of my throat. I uttered syllables even I don't completely understand: "I don't have a problem. I'm just stressed and my social anxiety is chewing me from the inside-out. I don't tell people my secrets when I first meet them, or they run; I'm never okay."

Okay, I never liked to admit to myself that I had secrets hidden beneath my flesh; the thought of blood-stained words crawling between my bones like worms, eating at my organs, was enough to make me antsy around people. Especially those I couldn't afford to lose.

If somehow, a human, or even an alien, is sitting back, listening to my story unfold into teeny-tiny dilemmas, I warn you. Sometimes my mind becomes detached - it becomes a gateway to the wormhole that leads into another world.

If you, young one, are still sticking around for the story, I applaud you with utmost congratulations and thank yous.

You, my precious, are journeying into a dark place. It's not always rainbows and lollipops, I can assure you.

I, Lethia Harper, are much like you. A longing for a love you cannot seem to firmly grasp - I want it. I feel your reckoning.

Yet, sometimes I believe I am different.

I remember the cold. I remember the bright light. I remember the hand pressing against my cheek with enough force to cause eternal pain. I remember sitting in my pink room staring up at the wall, longing for everything to fall into place.

Sometimes I wonder if Lethia Harper isn't actually me - an extension of wisdom and pure love. Lethia Harper is a girl who found her way and shot to the moon amidst all the people who brought her down. Lethia Harper is fearless - Lethia Harper is strong.

"I'm hooooome!" Andy shouts as soon as he catches glimpse of me, coming home from getting food. I snap out of my trance as he sets down the two to-go boxes of Chinese food. "You look ravishing, tonight!"

I put on a smile, barely forced. "Yeah, totally." I smirk, tongue on the tip of sarcasm. "Because the way my PJs glint from the light of the evening orb known as the sun, I slowly fade away..." I use my hands to add dramatic influences into my beautiful on-the-spot poem.

Andy claps like a gentlemen. "Very nice. I give it a 2.5/10."

I gasp. "Why such low of a score?"

He pouts and crosses his arms and slams his foot into the ground. "I'm not budging!"

I giggle and head over to the food. "Oh, really?"

"Yes," Andy jokes, wrapping his hands around me. "But there is one way..." His hands trail off into my unnamed areas and I catch myself slipping from his grasp.

My body begs for him to touch me again, to take me away from the madness that is my life. "Mmm," I groan. "But first," I grab the box with my free hands. "After we eat!"

____________________________________________________

I pick up my phone with my right hand as I shovel down food with my left. I see five messages: Cadell, Cadell, Cadell, Cadell, oh, and guess who? Cadell.

Lethia don't keep me hanging.

Lethia Harper, pick up this phone this instant!

Sweetheart, I'm worried about you.

Where the fuck did you go?

Lethia, you can trust me...

Just that single phrase, "you can trust me..." makes me shiver. I trusted him once, and I definitely learned my lesson from that. I locked my phone once again and threw it to the other side of the bed, where it landed with a soft bump.

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