think carefully about (something), typically before making a decision.
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Julian stood in front of his hotel door. His large pass-catching hand was wrapped firmly around the cold metal doorknob. He stood there just thinking about his night, not quite able to bring himself to open the door. He finally got the time he so desperately wanted and needed with Mara but it hadn't gone as planned. He was hoping their time together would spark some memory with her but it didn't. His hand finally began to turn the doorknob and his mind went flashing back.
**** Julian concentrated as his feet hit the stone walkway. He didn't want to risk an accident so he held on tightly to his girlfriend as he finally got to the front steps of the house.
Left foot. Right foot. Left foot. Right foot.
He made it up the two small stairs and finally made it to the wide wooden doors. The doors had fancy Windows on the top half of them. His hand jingled at the knob before the door finally opened them. Mara laughed in his arms. She was so giddy and excited.
"Honey, we're finally home!" Julian exclaimed as he carried his girlfriend through the front door of their brand new house. The man had only just been drafted by the New England Patriots and were just getting settled into the city of Boston. He closed the door by kicking his foot back, careful not to drop Mara.
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"I still can't believe we're here!" Mara said. Julian put her down and she began enthusiastically looking around. She looked in every corner of the house trying to figure out where they would put everything. Julian laughed at the girls child like spirit. She looked lovingly at the plain white walls. The walls were begging for color and Julian knew Mara would take pride in filling the house with life.
"I hope it's as exciting as you think it will be. There isn't that much to do in Boston," Julian explained. He crossed his arms as he leaned against the plain walls.
"It doesn't matter where we are. As long as it is me and you together it will be everything we have ever dreamed of. I'm so glad you asked me to follow you along with you as you fulfill your dream. I love you Julian Francis Edelman," Mara said. Her small hands cupped his scruffy face.
"And I love you more Mara Rose Edelman," Julian said before finally closing the small gap between their desiring lips. Julian's hand drifted down to his pocket to make sure the ring box was still safe and secure. ****
Opening the door to their home for the first time felt a lot different than opening this hotel room door. This door was lonely and empty. Their door was full of promise and love. On the other side of his hotel door was just his quarterback who had probably been sleeping for two hours now, trying to prepare himself for the big game in a few days. On the other side of their home door, which Mara painted bright red, held their future, and their everything. Julian always imagined bringing their babies home from the hospital and welcoming them to their new home as he swung open the Cherry Red door. He swung it open and entered the dark hotel room.
He had expected his quarterback to had been sleeping for hours, but to his surprise Tom was sitting up in his bed. "How was it?" Tom asked expectantly. Julian ran a hand through his hair, it was messy from the wind and he tried to straighten it out.
"It was just so weird," Julian explained. He was pacing the small length of the hotel room as he began recalling the conversation from their dinner. "It's like she's just meeting me for the first time but I've known her my whole life. She knows nothing about me. And I know everything about her," he said frustratedly.
"What did she say?" Tom asked. He let out a yawn.
"She has to remember something because she said she moved to Boston because of her boyfriend," Julian said stopping his pacing and staring out the hotel window. It looked over the city of Phoenix and he watched as cars zoomed by and their lights faded.
"So she knows she has a boyfriend?" Tom asked. He rubbed his eyelids, racking his brain trying to figure this out with Julian.
"No. She said they broke up but she can't REMEMBER what happened between them. I wanted to scream at her and tell her nothing happened to him, that I was right here, but I couldn't. It would scare her and that lost look in her eye would be back," Julian explained. He was talking quickly trying to not miss a single detail.
"Oh my god. That's so frustrating," Tom said throwing himself back into his pillow.
"Tell me about it," Julian said exhaustedly. "It's like her personality is still the same. She is still Mara but it's like she just completely blocked me out. It's just so weird because she remembers Raven," Julian said honking his thoughts out loud.
"Wait.... She remembers Raven? That makes no sense," Tom said sitting back up on the queen sized bed covered in an ugly printed blanket. "Has Raven said anything to her about you?"
"I don't think so. She was given just as strict orders by Dr. Carey as I was," Julian said. He wiped a bear of sweat from his forehead that formed when he was talking quickly.
