Bleeding Hearts

twenty two

TWENTY TWO

My footsteps were as heavy as bricks and sounded like elephant steps as they landed on the floor of the hospital - at least, that's how it seemed to me. My brain also felt like the world was in slow motion, and I could hardly see because of how blurry my vision happened to be. But none of that was important, because my best friend was dead in a hospital bed and I broke his heart.

Someone touched me, called my a name, shook me - but I couldn't respond. I opened my mouth and nothing came out, I tried to move but my limbs wouldn't respond, and when I attempted to stop crying the tears seemed to flow thicker and faster then they previously had. I was no longer in control of my body or my surroundings, but I didn't find that upsetting. I preferred it, because if I felt things then I knew that I'd only be in searing pain - and I didn't want that, even though I deserved it. I deserved all of the pain in the world but instead I got numbness.

It's funny how life works.

Somebody, a doctor, carried me out of Brady's room just as the Hire's, Landon, Kendra, and Ford all shoved their way in. None of them asked me what happened, none of them asked me why a doctor was carrying me away form Brady. But that was okay, because Brady was dead and I was numb and sad.

And then everything was dark.

-----
ten years ago

Reaching my small hand up in front of my face, I observe the slim rays of sunshine that slip through the cracks in between my fingers. A smile graces my face, and then a giggle, as I wiggle my hand so that a little more and a little less sun escapes through my fingers.

"Look at this." I turn my face to Brady, who's lying on his back like he could create a snow angel, except he can't because it's summer and there's no snow. His eyes are closed until he turns to me and opens his grassy irises. "I'm playing with the sun."

Brady giggled, reaching up his hand in front of his face and mirroring the movement of my fingers until he too was playing with the sun. For a while we stayed like that - lying on our backs in the middle of the forest behind Brady's house. It was around two or so, and the only reason that I knew this was because Bianca only woke up at two and you could hear her screaming from a mile away. Brady had invited me over about an hour or so ago, and after a good while of exhausting play, we'd taken a break and relaxed in the forest.

Birds chirped in trees, bugs sent a buzzing chill down my spine, and the soft grass beneath my bare calves and arms soothed my skin. "I like it here." I told Brady softly. "It's fun. Cool."

Brady pulled himself up until his legs were crossed into Indian Style. "Thanks." He smiled. "I come here a lot."

"I would too." I giggles, yanking a few strands of grass from the ground and playfully tossing it at him. "Eat it."

A daring glare lifted Brady's lips on his face as the grass landed on his lap. "Dare me to?"

"Duh,"

After a brief hesitation, Brady grabbed a fist full of grass and shoves it into his small mouth before chewing slowly, and then spitting it right back out onto my bare legs. I squealed, standing up instantly and attempting to get as much of the saliva coated grass off of my thin legs as I can.

"Sorry," Brady quickly apologized before standing up as well and using his tiny fingers to pick off sticky grass from my thighs. "It tasted gross."