Forgiveness (Chenry)

Haunted

Charlotte's POV

I have been dreading this day for so long. Today is the day I go back to school and face Henry Hart a.k.a Kid Danger a.k.a my best friend. It's been about a month since the incident and this painful secret has been eating me alive. I have yet to sleep peacefully because the images haunt my mind. The Saturday after it happened my parents took me to a therapist and they diagnosed me with depression. The therapist thinks that I am just another teenage girl saddened by the new found changes in her body. Well I'm not I was raped by my best friend and I don't know what to do. I'm scared...my parents are also concerned, but all I tell them is that Henry and I had an argument; that I am upset with him and that they may not see him for a while. They tell me the same thing this morning as they told me the previous days.

"It is only a small argument...

I am sure you guys will be on speaking terms again...

It is okay...

Forgive him..."

'Forgive him' that was what conflicted me so deeply. He didn't want to do it; he didn't want to rape me, but he did. He saved my life, but at the same time he broke me; I don't think I can be fixed.

"I don't think I can..." I whispered as a tear fell down my cheek, but before my parents could say anything else. I walked out the door and headed to school. As I walked I noticed the sun was out and shining; the complete opposite of how I currently feel. I don't want to go back to school, but my parents think going back will help with the 'depression'.

About ten minutes later I finally arrived at school. It was a heart racing feeling as the I walked into the main hall where my locker was. As I neared my locker, it felt as if everyone's eyes followed me. They were watching me, stalking me, preying on me. I ignored them as I finally made it to my locker.

I took a slow deep breath as I opened my locker, throwing my backpack inside and my textbook/ notebook for english class. As I slammed my locker door closed and turned around I found non other than Henry standing right in front of me, staring at me.

On the outside he looked relatively normal, but after being his best friend for so long I could by looking at his that he was almost as hurt as me. Almost being the key word; I don't think he could ever understand how I feel. He could never feel how I feel. He broke me and I don't think I could ever be fixed. I can never be normal. And, it's his fault. Why couldn't he have told Ray to go with him. Why didn't he fight Veronica's gun away. Why did he listen to her? Why did this happen to me?  Veronica wanted him, not me! She wanted him to suffer by hurting the one person he loved the most, but she got the wrong girl. Because I'm not Bianca; I'm not Henry's girlfriend!

"Charlotte" I heard Henry call "please we need to talk about what happened." 

I backed away as he tried to grab my hand, "Please, don't touch me. You'll only remind of what happened that day" I whispered back "Of what you did to me" I forced out as I felt my throat tightened and the tears built up in my eyes.

"Charlotte, please-" he began as his voice broke "please, forgive me. I can't imagine life without you. You're my best friend."

"I-I don't know...I need to think...please, just don't text me anymore...I love you Henry." I spoke lowly so that only Henry could hear "I need time...this isn't something that can be easily fixed." I felt the tears begin to rapidly to fall down my cheeks, so I ran out of the school building with my head before anyone else noticed.

I kept running, until I reached a nearby park. I slowed to a walk and decided to sit down on a bench. After, I sat down the sobs finally escaped my throat. "No! Nooo! Why me!...why me..."

I don't know what to do. I can't talk to anyone about it. The only other person  who knows is Henry and at this point I can't even look at Henry without remembering the physical and emotional pain he caused me. I want to forgive him, I really do. But, I can't forget about what he did! But, at the same time I still love him to death. I just don't know.

"God, if you really are up there. Me, your daughter-Charlotte; I need your help because I can't handle this. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I don't even think this can be fixed. Please, help me. Please, somehow show me what I need to do. Help me forgive my best friend, the boy I have had the biggest crush on since I first met him in the second grade. Please, I can't go on with this burden on my shoulders. With this heavy reminded of what happened to me thriving inside of me. Please, show me the way..." I begged looking at the sky, crying harder then I have before.