Aisling's Diary

Chapter 18

STEP UP

Monday 28 November 

OMG. Rory’s been selling PlayStation cheats at school. Ha. No wonder he was able to afford all those Magnum ice creams. I knew you couldn’t really negotiate a ‘deep discount’ at the local shop. Can’t believe I fell for his ‘some of us are born good negotiators. Sir Alan here I come’ rubbish. I would love to see him on The Apprentice just to hear ‘Surallan’ say ‘Rory Fitzsimons, I’ve had just about enough of your rubbish, you’re fired.’

Mum is absolutely furious but Granny Nora said she wished she’d known – she’d been stuck on the same mission for six months! Lol. It would not surprise me one bit if that was true. I didn’t see what the big deal was, although it must be a bit of a shock for Mum but then she’s been shielded, she hasn’t had to pay him for any favour needed (like I have) over the years. Well, Mum, here’s your son, now maybe you’ll see what he is really like.

But turns out Mum’s worried about everyone on the estate talking about us, not having much cash and having to go back and work in the family business, and that somehow Rory thinks we’re so broke he’s got to help out with the cash. I didn’t realize things were so bad.

Now this makes perfect sense, this is why we had to come back to Ireland in the first place. This is why Conor is so pleased with himself and his stupid car. And this is why Dad’s so unhappy. I can’t believe all I cared about was getting myself a flight back to Boston. This was no big plan to ‘come home’, this was because our plan to live in the US stopped working when Dad lost his job. From what I know about it, this is the fundamental problem with plans. IMO, they never work out like you want. 

5:05p.m.

Rory is totally grounded. But he’s being very nonchalant about it. He keeps clicking his fingers and saying ‘it’s cool’. Mum kept saying ‘it most certainly isn’t cool’, but he still kept saying it. The boy is educationally subnormal, as I have always suspected.

 5:30p.m.

Oh no. Rory being grounded means a whole lot of time with him in his room playing with his mixer, teaching himself to mix. Mum and Dad have not managed to workout that this is pretty much his dream situation, because they have no idea what a mixer is. Perhaps they think he’s sitting in his room thinking of ways he can correct his behaviour and not mixing the same two records over and over again and having the time of his life. Poor Mum and Dad. Sometimes I wonder what it’s like to be part of the technologically incompetent generation. Bewildering, I should think.

6:45p.m.

Aunty Stell just called, she heard from the lady who ‘does’ her ironing that Parties-to-Go are the hot new thing in Dublin for children’s parties. Her lady also ‘does’ for another woman, whose children were Celtic Tigers for the day courtesy of yours truly, and she said we were –and I quote – ‘quite simply the best’. This means Parties-to-Go have the gig. Go Parties-to-Go. GO!! Texted Siobhan and Ali the good news.

7:00p.m.

Text back from Siobhan saying let’s show them what we can really do? Gulp. One back from Ali saying he would Doom, which I HOPE is another magic trick. 

7:02p.m.

Ali out of his Tomb of Doom with only minor scratches.He says that’s the last time he buys a trick like that on eBay without emailing the seller first. Wise words, I think.

Thursday 1 December 

3:00p.m.

Despite my best efforts and paying Rory the best part of twenty euros, I only managed to drum up fourteen votes for Murphy’s video. He looked really sad. Stupid Fat Playaz got 4,000, and they’re nowhere near as good! Rory said there’s a way of using this program, which creates emails and votes from them. However, he’s set the price beyond what the market (i.e. me) can afford. Besides, there has to be another way to get Murphy to dance with Ace FX, which doesn’t involve me emptying my piggy bank to Rory. 

3:34p.m.

Mum really keen that Parties-to-Go throw a fabulous party for Shane. I think she wants to show Stella what this branch of the Fitzsimons family is capable of. Don’t worry, Mum. The gauntlet is thrown – I won’t let you down. Shane will have a party that he will never forget! Oh yes. 

4:09p.m.

Went round to Siobhan’s house. We were drinking blackberry and cucumber smoothies. Mmm. Siobhan makes them herself with the hand blender and crushed ice and they are Yum. We looked very sophisticated at the computer with our drinks in long glasses. In a rare break from our Party Planning, Siobhan was asking me about Murphy, about ‘me and Murphy’ – like we were boyfriend and girlfriend. I mean, if I thought like Eavanne I’d be telling everyone that we are married by now! But I am sooooo much more mature than that witch.

But it DID make me wonder if there actually is an us?

OK, everyone, let’s do it. It’s time for the List of all Lists:

Evidence that Murphy could be my boyfriend: 

1. He took ME to the flashmob.

2. He smiles at me a lot.

3. He was teasing me about Ali being my boyfriend.

4. He gives me ‘the look’–you know, the one a boyfriend gives a girlfriend.

Looking pretty good so far. But . . . 

1. There’s been no kiss. If we were going out Irish style, surely there would have been a kiss by now? That is what Siobhan said, and that is the crucial missing piece of evidence.

At least in the US we’d either be dating or we wouldn’t. Wait! Wait! Hang on a minute, this is crazy. What am I doing? I’m writing a list to see whether I’ve got a boyfriend or not. Surely the answer is clear. If you have to put a list together – then you don’t have a boyfriend.

Note to self: Aisling–Murphy is not your boyfriend. Maybe it’s me who needs the post-it on the bathroom mirror. 

4:15p.m.

Hmm, what I need is a magazine quiz that can answer the question ‘Do You Have a Boyfriend?’.

4:17p.m.

Have been through every back issue of Mizz but no joy. No article. :o. Hey, maybe I should write one, I’d make millions. I can’t be the only girl in the world who’s confused as to whether she’s going out with someone or not, can I?

4:20p.m.

Have decided a) I’m completely insane and b) to stop worrying about Murphy and c) to strap on my dancing shoes and to do some serious dance. Preliminaries Saturday. Yikes!! Play that funky Irish Dance Music and play it loud.

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