This Is Reality

Chapter 7

"Bobby told us you're afraid to go to sleep." Mr. Davis started.

"Mr. Davis, I-," I started to reply.

"You can call me Charles."

"Okay. Charles, I'm afraid to sleep because of what happened last time. The dreams, they were-,"

"You don't have to explain, Arlene. Can we pray for you?" Charles interrupted. I nodded slowly, telling myself I should've said no. I didn't believe there was a God to pray to, so why would I let them pray to a God for me? Charles and Charlotte, or Mrs. Davis, put their hands on my head and started praying. They all closed their eyes.

"Father God, we come before You this day with hands lifted. You see this child's needs, You see her doubt and her worry. We're asking You to touch her, so she can sleep peacefully. You see her dreams, and we want You to rid her of these nightmares. Only You can help her. In the powerful Name of Jesus Christ we pray, Amen."

"Amen," Bobby said after Charles.

"Now, go brush your teeth and go to sleep. You will be safe, and nothing will hurt you. I believe the Lord will let you sleep without worrying about anything, if you'll trust Him." Charlotte smiled and hugged me. It felt nice having a woman treat me like one of her own children when I'm just a stranger who showed up at her doorstep. To her, I was her daughter.

I did as she said and went upstairs to the bathroom. After I brushed my teeth, I walked into "my room." I looked into the mirror. I didn't see myself. I saw a stranger. I felt so depressed, and my mind was clogged with a bunch of bad thoughts. I felt like cutting. I felt like kicking myself. I felt like dying, to be honest. I started crying uncontrollably just looking at myself. I was ashamed at how I turned out. I fell on the bed and put my face into the pillow, and screamed. It was very quiet because the pillow was covering my mouth. I got back up and went back to the mirror. I kicked the wall and started crying even harder. Bobby heard me from across the hall and came in. He held me around the waist and pulled me away from the mirror. I was struggling to get away from him.

"Arlene, stop it, right now." he said, still trying to keep me from the mirror. "Stop crying; just calm down, no one's gonna hurt you. You're fine."

I didn't even know I was screaming. I was surprised no one else came in. All of a sudden I couldn't breathe. I felt scared and panicky. Bobby faced me towards him and hugged me gently.

"I'm here. I won't leave you, I promise." he whispered.

"I can't breathe!" I exclaimed. "I can't breathe!"

"Calm down, calm down. You're fine."

I cried into his chest.

"I don't know why you're crying, but listen." his embrace tightened. "You don't have to cry. You don't have to worry. God's got you in His hands, and He's going to work your whole life out."

Just the sound of his gentle voice calmed me down. I think I was having a panic attack.

"I don't know if you're crying because you think you're ugly, but you're not ugly either way. You're beautiful. When my eyes met yours, I knew I'd love you from the start." he kept talking like everything was normal, and like I wasn't crying or going crazy. "Arlene, you're my everything." he whispered. I knew God was his everything, but he probably just meant I was his human being everything, if that makes sense.

"I want to run away." I whispered when I caught my breath.

"What?" he whispered back.

"I want to leave."

"No, Arlene, you can't leave me." he only knew me for like a week. Why did he act this way towards me?

"Leave you?" I asked, still leaning against his chest while he had his arms wrapped around me.

"Don't leave." he whispered. I didn't respond. "Are you okay now?"

"I'll never be okay."

He knew I was okay when I said that and he was just leaving the room, but I stopped him.

"Bobby?" I said. He turned to face me. "How do you sleep?"

"I don't sleep. My mind has the scary capability of being dark and demented." he replied.

"You're scared of your dreams?" I asked.

"Yes," he answered quietly and turned to walk away.

Could it possibly be that Bobby was just like me? He seemed so happy and cheerful; how could it be that deep down inside he's afraid? I should've asked him what his dreams were about, then it would make a lot more sense. Maybe he would just tell me what his dreams are about without me asking, because that would be pretty awkward to walk up to someone and be like, "Hey, dude, what are your dreams about, man?"

* * *

The next day when I woke up, Bobby was in the kitchen making a sandwich.

"Your Mom is making me go to school today." I said.

"I know. You better pack your lunch; that school food is awful." Bobby replied.

"I don't have lunch money anyway. What are you putting on that?"

"Mayonnaise, ham, bologna, cheese, lettuce, salt and pepper, and sub buns with sesame seeds on 'em."

"That sounds good. I think I'll make myself the same. Where are the paper bags?" I asked.

"Let me make it for you." Bobby offered, opening a cabinet and pulling a brown paper bag out. I watched as he spread mayonnaise on the buns and put all of the other stuff on it. When he finished making it, he wrapped it in some plastic stuff and put it in the bag.

"What else are you putting in your lunch bag?" I asked.

"An apple and Mom's special." he held up a sandwich bag with three cookies in it.

"Where are the cookies and bananas? I can have some, right?" I raised my eyebrows. He laughed and nodded.

"The cookies are on the plate on the microwave, and the bananas are beside of the toaster in a bowl." Bobby replied.

"You're the best." I gave him a cheesy grin then ran into the kitchen. When I came back, Candice was there and somehow already had her lunch bag packed.

"Woah, you're like a wizard or something." I laughed.

"Mom packed mine for me last night." Candice replied. She still looked tired. I was surprised she wasn't used to waking up this early by now.

Just then Charles and Charlotte walked into the kitchen. Charles grabbed a banana and a coke and walked out the door with a brief case in his hand after saying goodbye. I guess he had work.

"I fixed a little snack for you kiddos yesterday night. It's a rainy day so I figured you'd get up late and not have time for breakfast." I didn't notice how hungry I was until she said that.

"Uh, I'm scared." Bobby said. Charlotte smiled and went to the kitchen. When she came back, she had three slices of cherry delight on a plate.

"I'll go get two more plates and three spoons." she said, rushing back to the kitchen.

"Wow." I whispered. Everyone in this family was a chef or a baker. When Charlotte came back, we all ate and finished just in time, because the bus had arrived.

"Bobby, be sure to show Arlene around the school." Charlotte said while kissing Bobby on the cheek.

"Have a nice day at school, sweetheart." she said while kissing Candice on the cheek.

"I hope your first day in three years is a good one. Don't be nervous, Jesus will be with you the whole time." Charlotte hugged me, and I smiled and headed out the door. We all got on the bus. I was nervous, I had to admit it, but I was glad Bobby was in the same grade I was, and most of my classes were with him. I also have to admit that I wasn't aware of the fear fest waiting for me inside that school building.