The Bitches Bible

CHAPTER 1

CHAPTER ONE 

It was the summer of 2008. I had just graduated from a boarding school which I attended for my senior year. It was quite an experience. It made me grow and become more independent. It also opened doors to new ideas that I had never known to exist. It also left me a bit traumatized as it was the first time I had ever been away from home. 

The idea of going back was very unsatisfying to me. I planned on moving to New York, and embracing the cliché of 'If you make it in New York you can make it anywhere', and believe me, I had thirst for success. My plan was extraordinarily impossible. But for me, anything was possible. As I stepped foot in the airplane, I actually felt sad to leave my school. I counted the days for graduation, trying to get the hell out, and as I left, I suddenly felt that hole when something that has grown on you is finally gone. 

I moved back home and I was in a complete state of rebellion. I was also a very secluded person. I also was known for being the funny fat ass that everyone would enjoy listening to my smart ass comments. I had a lot of friends and a lot of people around me but I was deeply lonely inside. Weighing 325 pounds was no picnic (no pun intended), and I covered my lonesome and low self esteem by being witty and sarcastic. 

The first few weeks of being home, I purchased my ticket, one way, to JFK Airport. I had decided that I wanted a change. My mind was set on leaving and making it big. All my friends, who had graduated from school, were leaving, and I felt I had to leave or else I would be stuck in the same shit for years to come. I also had the problem that I was a closet gay. And all my friends were straight. Nobody knew my 'dark' secret. Although I tried to hide my sexual orientation, I think it would have been easier to convince people I was Leonardo Dicaprio before someone believed I was straight. 

Anyhow, one of my close friends, Anthony, was also gay. He was perky and fun. He also had a big mouth and loved using it to spread gossip and rumors. Ever the gay guy, listening to gossip and rumors are what is Vogue to Anna Wintour. It kept me busy and entertained for years. After many moons of going out, he finally came to me and said ''I have something to tell you. And this may come as a shock to you''. I stared at him with a straight face, biting my lower lip to cover up the huge laugh that was about to burst from my mouth. ''I'm gay'', he said. The first thing I thought was, should I admit that I'm gay too? Or should I pretend that I'm not and make him feel uncomfortable. Although it would make me feel relieved to talk to someone about it, I was 19 years old, and I NEEDED someone who could understand me, but then again, he had a big mouth and could probably tell everyone my secret. After his confession, I decided to open up and 'come clean'. I had never felt ashamed of being gay. I never thought or felt that I was not normal, or that maybe I was mentally ill. Or as most people thought, it was sinful and it was God's way of punishing people. This belief made me distance myself from the Church. I was not ever going to accept that ME, being gay, was wrong. I rather believed that if was the Church who had it wrong, and that maybe the invincible me could prove people wrong of what being gay meant. Maybe an easy explanation of 'we just watch different types of porn' would have sufficed. But I was not going to get into detail about my personal and private life. Nothing interesting had ever happened to me anyways. I had never had a sexual relationship or any kind of relationship. My life just seemed boring and I just wanted a change. And fuck did it change. So here is where this poor excuse of a so called memoir begins.