Let Me Open Your Eyes

Chapter 16- Unaware

{"I need someone who knows struggle as well as I do 

          someone willing to hold my feet in their lap 

                                  on days where it is too difficult to stand"}

After Aspen had stormed out that night, I had been spending a lot of time with Kai, every moment going by easily and without stress. The thing that made hanging out with Kai so easy and enjoyable, was that he didn't ask any questions and he didn't expect any answers either. I could spend time with him without worrying about him pressing into my personal life, and he spent most of his time talking about his times back in Seattle, sharing stories of his friends and about his school.

Aspen had not tried to contact me at all but that was pushed to the back of my mind, something which I was almost glad that I no longer had to worry about.

"You wouldn't have liked her though" Kai smiled, shrugging, "Hailey was always really over the top and nosy."

I tilted my head slightly, furrowing my eyebrows to question him.

He rubbed his strong jaw line and narrowed his eyes slightly. "I don't know. I guess I feel like you wouldn't like nosy people, you would find them too intense."

I smiled lightly at him, finding it strange how he always seemed to be able to understand me despite not having heard me say one single word. Part of my heart was still heavy, wondering how this friendship could ever move forward or even become something else if I could never speak to him. I would never be able to completely open up to him, and part of me wondered if it would even be worth it to try. Kai was a decent guy with honest intentions, someone who I enjoyed to listen to and play games with. We played board games that didn't require any talking and we watched movies, he just seemed to understand me as a person. I was definitely attracted to him but part of me felt disappointed that I didn't feel any of the familiar butterflies or accelerated heartbeat that I was used to with Aspen.

Must be because he put me on edge so much, not because of anything else.

"Do people treat you weird at school?" he questioned suddenly with curious eyes and I stiffened slightly, forcing myself to try and relax.

I shrugged, nodding reluctantly but sending him a small smile to try and act like it wasn't a big deal. It wasn't anymore and I had friends who would put up with me despite my condition, that was worth the weird looks. Megan had fought for me when nobody else did, she was always the first to tell bullies to leave me alone and she would always treat me normally when everybody else would tiptoe around me. I was lucky to have her as my best friend, that is something that would never change.

"I'm sorry" he frowned slightly, putting his hand over mine and patting it gently to comfort me. I smiled awkwardly and then noticed that his hand was still on mine, making slow circles. "I know what it is like. I obviously told you about my old friend Kayla and how I never told her how I felt before we moved...before then I got a lot of comments at school of people thinking that I was gay or whatever. They tortured me for it and it was hard."

I tried to remove my hand and gave him a sympathetic smile but he hold on with slightly desperate eyes.

"I just can't stop thinking about her and how I wish I would have done something about my feelings. It's kind of comforting spending time with you because you remind me of her...not just because you don't speak...but you also look quite alike" he smiles at me, and I furrow my eyebrows, "it helps me to stop missing her."

Panic rose up in my chest as he leaned in closer and part of me wanted to open my mouth and scream, yelling at him to leave me alone. But I knew that I couldn't, and not just because I was frozen in fear. His lips came closer to mine and the sensation of panic was suffocating, my body instantly reacting as I pushed him away roughly.