{"I flinch when you touch me
I fear it is them"}
Aspen's name lighting up on my phone sent more paralyzing fear through me. I ignored the insistent ringing and continued to keep my head buried into my lap, wanting the noise of the outside world to just stop for one moment. Digging my blunt nails into my scalp as the phone rang once more, I sobbed harshly muttering for him to go away even though I knew that it was not possible for him to hear me.
Finally grabbing the phone, I hissed into the microphone, "What do you want now?"
There was a brief silence on the other end of line, only his soft breathing before his stern voice replied, "What's wrong? Talk to me."
A snort erupted from my throat. "That's all you ever want me to do! Talk about my feelings, tell you what happened and why I am like this! You're not my boyfriend and you are certainly not my damn shrink, so why the hell would I tell you?"
His voice turned calmer, a slow deliberate tone as if he was talking me out of something stupid, "Sunshine...calm down."
"I am not your fucking sunshine, Aspen! Stop acting as if you know how to deal with me and how to make all of this better because it fucking won't! It won't ever get better!"
"Paisley" he emphasized in an almost snappy tone. "What happened today?"
"You need to stop this" I whispered out brokenly. "You need to fucking stop this because I can't deal with it."
"Stop what?" he exploded.
"Stop acting as if you are set on this earth to save me...Stop making me feel things that I don't want to feel and stop making me tell you things that are none of your business!" I yelled.
"I'm just asking if you're okay" he shot back. "It's what you do when you care about someone! It's not my fault that you don't know what that is like."
My breath hitched and I could almost feel his mouth open on the other side of the phone ready to apologize. But the world around me felt weird and suddenly everything started to blur, making me whisper tiredly, "no, please..stop...not again..."
The door slammed behind me and my world was swallowed in darkness. My eyebrows creased in confusion as I heard laughter on the other side of the door and I knocked on it hesitantly.
"Hey, I thought you said this was a surprise? Hello? "
The only sound was their footsteps walking away, loud booms that made me flinch and go cold all over. My banging became desperate although I knew that they wouldn't let me out, always thinking that this was a punishment that could be justified, to straighten out my behavior.
"Please let me out! I'm sorry I'll be good! I'll try really hard this time!" I yelled but nobody came to my rescue. My voice cracked as my eyes filled with tears, gasps escaping my lips as I realized that they may never come back.
The worst part was the fear. The slight shake in my trembling hands, the light layer of sweat that coated them no matter how many times I wiped it on my PJ bottoms. The feeling of vomit crawling up my throat, my stomach flipping like I was on a roller coaster about to drop down below into the unknown. My body was frozen yet shivering violently at the same time and the fear made it hard to focus on anything over than the shaky sounds of my breath. I knew that I had no choice but to wait until they decided I should be let out and saved.
Hours later I finally heard footsteps, this time slightly more hesitant as if they regretted what they had put me through. Instead of finding myself jumping up and waiting to apologize and run into their warm arms, I found my body going cold as if it knew that it was safer for me to stay where I was. The shadow of a figure outside the door was still, as if waiting for me to make some sort of noise or indication that I needed to be let out. In that moment, I almost wanted to stay in there forever, as if it would keep me safe although dark and cramped. They started to tap their feet, as if taunting me to stop being scared and say something. The tapping made me shiver, my hand covering my mouth desperately to quieten the sounds of my breath as if that would make them less likely to open the door.
YOU ARE READING
Let Me Open Your Eyes
Romance"You thought that you wanted to disappear, but all you ever needed was to be found." Paisley Holden meets a mysterious blue eyed stranger who wants to open up her eyes and prove to her that she has a reason to belong here in this world.
