My Marilyn Manson Love Story❤

Sad Break Ups

I lay still in Marilyn's bed. Sheets to my chin. Laying on my right side looking through his window. It was afternoon and he still wasn't home. He always got home round about 4:30-5:00 pm. It's 7:45. I closed my eyes. I'm okay. I'm okay. I won't cut. I won't cut. I'm okay. He's okay. I won't cut. I promise. I can't. Uhhh!!!!

I rubbed my thighs and bit my lip. A tear came down my cheek. "I don't wanna cut I don't wanna cut I don't wanna cut I don't wanna cut. I can't do this...." I screamed into my pillow. I couldn't do this anymore. I got out of bed and got my pack of cigarettes out of my purse. I went outside and lit one up. I breathed in the sweet chemicals and breathed it out. I watched as the smoke came out of my mouth and disappear into thin air. I always liked seeing the smoke and thinking where it went after it disappeared. It was always a mystery. Smoking always helped me with my cutting problem. Made me stop thinking about stuff. Weed was better, but this is what I used now. I didn't want to be a dope head and a cutter. Have to be put in some addiction institution again. They suck. People don't care what your problems are anymore. All they care about is there paycheck. They could care less about the people that want to be helped. Want to escape this bad life.

I let my mind wonder into many things. I got another cigarette out and lit it. Just about the 4th or 5th puff, Marilyn drove up in the driveway. I took one more puff and threw my cigarette on the ground and stepped on it. I walked over to him. "Where the hell have you been?" I asked. I couldn't really stop the words from coming out. I was just so pissed at him. He sighed and closed his car door slowly. "You know where I was." I raised an eyebrow. "Do I?" He turned to face me. "Yes. You know I was at work. You know I work late sometimes." I scoffed. " you never work late. And you know it." I sighed. "Goddamn it. I'm doing it again! Im overreacting! Im...I'm so sorry. I..." I fell to my knees and held my head in my hands crying my eyes out. I heard Marilyn sigh. He picked me up off the ground. "We need to talk...." I shook my head. "I'm sorry. I hate that I'm like I am....I overreact. I get jealous. I'm selfish. I overthink a lot of shit. I...I'm a shame to life, Marilyn. I..." Air got caught in my throat. I coughed and sobbed more. Marilyn touched my face gently. "You're not a shame to life. You're a gift to it. You deserve better. A better life. Better job. Better school. Better...better boyfriend..." He removed his hand and let it drop to his side. "No. You are the best thing that's ever happened in my life. You.. You make me feel wanted. Special. You-" he cut me off. "You think I'm cheating you because I'm late from work or that I see lots of women or that I don't care about you. How does that make you feel? You're better off without me. I can't give you the life that you want. Not with my career. And you'll get jealous over every fan girl that I'm around, because you'll think there better or that they could give me better things or whatever the case is. You would always be unhappy. And I don't want that for you. I want you to be happy." Tears ran down my face. "But I am happy." My voice broke with every word I said. He wipes the tears away. "No. You're not. You're only gonna get worse if your around me. I'm bad for you." He put his head on mine. His hands went to my neck.

The night air was cold and surrounded me on all sides. Stars started to appear in the pitch black sky. "So this is good-bye?" I asked lowly. My voice still sounding like it would burst if I said another word. His eyes shimmered. "I don't want to do this." He said. A quick tear flew down his cheek. "Then don't. Don't let me go. Let me stay. I'll do better. I promise. Please...please don't let me go." I bit my lip and looked into his green shimmering eyes. He shook his head and wiped my tears. "I have to. I hate this, most likely, more than you do. But I don't want you to think of negative things every time I do something." His lips trembled. "You know I love you, right princess?" I nodded. I put my hands in his hair. "Don't leave me....god please don't...." He cut me off with a kiss. This kiss was different from any kiss he had given me. This wasn't a sex kiss, a love kiss, a harsh kiss, this...this was a good-bye kiss. I pulled at his hair and his arms wrapped around my waist. We cried together knowing this would be our very last kiss. For a very long time. I didn't want to think about it. I just let it all soak in. Our last kiss ever. Last time I'll feel his soft lips touch mine. Last time I'll feel the warmth of his skin. Last time I'll hold his hand. Last time I'll see his wonderful green eyes. Last time I'll wake up in his bed. Last time for everything. Last time with him....

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Omg. I can't believe I made them break up. Damn. I cried during this chapter. Lol. Very heart breaking.
What will leonna do?
Will she relapse?
Will she go over the edge?
Breakdown?
Comment Your Thoughts about it.
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Thank you.