Unrequited Love? ABANDONED

Chapter 2

"So, why are you insisting that I should take a break?" Haibara asked as soon as I showed up in the living room. Is she that busy to strike me a question after I just entered the room?

"Nothing really. Just, you know, taking your mind off things." She cocked an eyebrow at me. Giving me a face that shows she's not even a single bit convinced in my answer. Her eyes are so intimidating that I'm starting to feel a sweat roll down to my cheeks. She's making it harder for me..

I sighed. "You see that circles under your eyes? It's because of you, spending most of your time making that antidote. I told you already that I'm not in a hurry to go back as being Shinichi. I can still live my life as Conan Edogawa. Shinichi and Conan are two different people. Two different life. It's fine by me if that antidote takes two or more years. What's important to me is your health and your safety. All I want is that Black Organization to be arrested. That's all I want. For them to be put into jail. For them to fall and be crushed. For them to be no more. For them to stop existing. For them to stop trying to kill you." I stopped for moment because we've gotten a bit out of topic.

"It's just that.. You're not taking care of yourself properly. Please, just please, take a week off all that work. If you can't, then you can cut off a few hours to rest. A-Haibara, I know you want to make that antidote but you still need to take care of yourself." I finished with a pleading look on my face. Almost like begging her to stop working for just a week. It's not that she's sleep deprived but she's also becoming thinner. It'd be my fault if she ends up getting sick.

"What is it to you anyway?" I was taken aback by her words. Why is she saying this? Why of all questions, she picked this? I didn't answer her.

"Why do you even care about my well-being? Do you even heard what you just said? You said that it's fine by you even if you stay as Conan Edogawa. You think I'll believe that? I took away your perfect life and you still say that? Aren't I the person who you should hate? I took away everything from you.. I took you away from her! I ruined your life and also hers! Because you are gone, she's been crying, isn't she? Every time you call her, your face looks so melancholy as if you just committed a crime! You say that you're fine with this?" Her words were dangerously dripping with menace and I swear I felt a shiver went down my spine. Wait, who's 'her'?

Brainless, knucklehead, half-witted, dumb, idiot! It's Ran she's talking about!

I stopped her from saying anything else. "You didn't take away everything." I shook my head. "I am still alive and that's all I need. I have you by my side and I won't ask for anything else. This life is already good enough for me. The one that got her everything taken away is you. I... I wasn't able to save your sister. I arrived too late and I'm still regretting that. But I won't let the same thing happen to you. I will never let that happen. I don't want to lose you too that's why I'm trying to protect you. No, I will protect you from anything. I'll protect you from all the bad people and will never ever forgive myself if I ever let you get taken away and if you did, I'll do my very best to take you back because you are important to me. You got that right?" I stopped to catch my breath since I almost ran out of breath going on and on, spurting out the words I've always wanted to say.

I stepped up and looked straight at her eyes. Even though she said all those things, her eyes clearly contradicts with her statement. Her eyes showed no hate or anger. Her eyes simply looked blank and held no emotions at all.

Blank..?

Really now... Haibara. What are you really feeling? Why can't you just let me break through your walls? Why can't you, for once, let down your guard? Open up to me? Was it trust? Do I lack something to make you not believe in me? I never hated you. Never. Even when we first met, I didn't feel a single bit of hate towards you. So what is it that makes you not to completely trust me?