Ten Things

Ch.16-Football is a lot like Life

Grace

"Today I will do what others won't, so tomorrow I can accomplish what others can't."

That was my father's favorite Jerry Rice quote, and the first thing I thought if that morning when I woke up, which I took as a sign to go ahead and accept Coach Wilkins' offer. I loved watching football, I loved talking about football . . . It sounded like a win-win to me. Anyway, what did I have to lose?

It was early, earlier than I usually rose in the morning. The sun was just rising over the treetops and streaking like scraggly fingers across the greyish sky. I sat for a moment with my feet pressed into the soft plush of my carpet, my hands sinking into the comforter on my bed.

It had been a terrible weekend.

Terrible and confusing.

I was flustered and disgruntled with everything happening not only around me, but inside of me. I couldn't wrap my mind around it. Being the way I was, I never gave a lot of thought to a love life of any kind. I didn't make time for little puppy crushes or anything like that. But homecoming had been a night of so many overwhelming experiences.

For one, I had taken a risk and done something I had never tried before. It was liberating, in a way. And that was great-the whole night was great-until the end.

My mother had called me. The doctor told her my test results came back and they were bad enough that I had to go back in on Saturday to make sure the tumor wasn't coming back. Back during Friday I hadn't known what would happen, and I was a wreck. I couldn't bear for Tiffany or Dustin to see me that way, and not just because it would entail some sort of explanation. I had stolen away with promises to return Tiffany's phone-which my dad had done while I was in the hospital being tested-wishing to be alone. And then Cole found me. That darn enigma that was Cole Winters.

I glanced down at my arms, running my fingers over the flesh. No use. It wasn't the same. I had never felt anything like it, when Cole was so close to me. When his skin touched mine. The riddling goose bumps swept over from head to toe. I didn't understand it, and maybe it was misplaced but I loved that feeling.

He could be so much more. When we were alone, when I was in my immensely fragile states, he had turned into somebody he didn't show to his friends, or to anyone in his school. I saw bits and pieces of him that nobody else did, and I was thinking Cole himself might not have even realized the change.

I stood up and shuffled slowly toward the window, peering out. A fine coating of dew covered the grass. The morning was still and beautiful. I pulled my fingers through my hair, brushing it over my neck to cover the cut just below my ear. The doctor had given me some meds and apparently they didn't mix well with other things. I fainted again, hitting my head against my chair. I came to on my own and cleaned myself up. I didn't want my parents worrying anymore over me.

I slid out of the thin nightdress and into a sweater and some jeans. Once I was all dressed I left my room and padded along the wood floors of the empty lower level. I walked into the bathroom and took a moment to stare at myself in the mirror. I looked deep into the wide blue eyes and the pale face reflected back at me. I was looking for something . . . But what? I couldn't be sure. Something outstanding, something remarkable.

But I found nothing. I was just Grace Loving. Plain old, boring Grace Loving.

Some things would never change.

***

"Are you sure you can do this, Halo?"

I sighed as I packed up my backpack. "Yes, Tiffany. And I already told Coach Wilkins I would do it; I can't very well back out now."