She will be loved (PUBLISHED)

3. Irritated

“I’m bored, Lukas. I wanna buy a car.”

I rolled my eyes as Lukas mimics the way I talk. Hinampas ko siya sa balikat at saka pinanlakihan ng mga mata. Lukas was being his silly self again. He was behind the wheel, driving while teasing me. He likes doing that. I remember, back when we were younger, he would spend all morning teasing me tapos kapag napaiyak na niya ako, he would spend the whole afternoon making up to me. He loves me that much. I was always his first priority – mas mahalaga pa ako sa lahat ng naging babae niya.

“Baby,” He called me. That word had been overused since I came back. Sancho and Lukas seldom calls me Laide – they had always been fond of calling me baby – because I am and I will always be the baby of the family.

“Hmnn,” I made a little sound. I was busy looking outside the window.

“You said you were bored. What do you wanna do?” He asked me. I looked at Him. I had been thinking about what I wanted to do since this morning. Madami akong gustong gawin, gusto kong magpunta sa palengke, gusto kong magtinda ng isda, gusto kong magluto, gusto kong mamangka. Gusto ko ulit gawin ang mga bagay na ginagawa ko sa loob ng labing-isang taon ng buhay ko.

Pero hindi pwede.

The life – this life and the life I had – contrast sila. Isang palengkera, isang prinsesa.

“I wanna go to dad.” I said to him. Lukas took a deep breath.

“Sure?” He sounded so worried.

Isa sa mga bagay na nanangyari noong wala ako ay ang pagkamatay ni Daddy. Hindi ko siya nakita bago siya mawala nang tuluyan and when I found out about Robert’s family, I hated him. Kinuha niya sa akin at sa mga kapatid ko ang pagkakataon para makasama ang mga magulang namin.

Dad’s dead and I will never see him again. Mom’s alive but she had lost it. I sighed.

“Yeah… I wanna tell him that I’m back.” Mahinang sabi ko. Nagpatuloy lang si Lukas sa pagmamaneho. Makalipas ang ilang minute ay narrating namin ang memorial park kung saan nakalibing si Dad. Lukas took my hand as we walk side by side papasok sa mausoleum.

I was thinking about dad as I entered the mausoleum pero bigla akong natakot nang makita ko ang pangalan ko sa kabilang side ng libingan.

Christiana Adelaide Cruise Consunji

Born: September 08, 1988

Died: May 02, 2004

“God, Lukas!” I exclaimed. Agad niya akong hinatak palabas ng lugar na iyon. My tears were falling. He embraced me tightly. Hindi ko alam kung bakit bigla akong natakot nang ganoon. Alam ko naman na talagang inisip nilang patay na ako pero iba iyong pakiramdam na nakita ko iyong pinaglibingan nila sa taong akala nilang ako.

“Sorry, baby.” He whispered. “Let’s get you out of here.”

“Ayoko.” I wiped my tears. “Natakot lang ako pero I’m okay. I wanna talk to dad.” Sabi ko sa kanya. Lukas took a deep breath.

“Okay, pero wag ka na lang tumingin doon sa side na iyon. I’ll call some people, papaayos ko iyon, baby.”

Tumango na lang ako sa kanya. Hinayaan niya akong pumasok doon. Naupo ako sa isang pew malapit sa side ni Dad. I was silently telling him that I am back and that I will be here for good. I apologized for forgetting him. Hindi ko na napansin na umiiyak na naman ako. Maya-maya ay tumabi si Lukas sa akin. He put his arms around me.

“Baby…” He uttered. I looked at him. Pinunasan ko ang luha ko.

“So many things have changed since I was gone.” Sabi ko. Luke smiled. I pinched him. “You became a better man. Sancho bagged Sheena and I have a new brother.”