Pancakes and Paper Planes || ✔ || Under Revision

28|Cupcakes and Crying

After that clarity, I decide I need to visit my mom. I sigh, fanning myself with a copy of some stupid tabloid I only bought because Los Angeles in July is hotter than Nick. I grab a taxi outside the Starbucks on Sunset Boulevard and give directions to my mother's house. The taxi driver asks for my autograph and I don't even blink an eye.

I knock on the door and Kevin opens it.

"Micah? What are you doing here? I thought you were with Miles."

"I'm staying at his apartment. That doesn't mean I'm with him twenty-four seven," I tell him. "He's at some audition. Is my mom home? I need to talk to her."

Kevin grins, obviously impressed by how badly I need to talk to my mom. Usually I'm trying to avoid her as much as possible. "She's in her office working on memorizing lines for the next season of Blessed and Cursed. And she has a conference call with the company about her reality TV Show."

"Thanks, Kev." I give him and smile and walk in slipping off my sandals by the door and I hurry down the hallway the office complex. I find my mother sittting in front of laptop. She is busy looking over her lines.

"Where the hell did you come from?!" Lauren suddenly shouts. She must have eyes in the back of her head because she's not even looking at me.

"Umm, mom?"

She whirls around, and I notice her eyes have dark circles under them. "Oh, hello! I was just working on my scene with Cooper. It's where he just came into the office room and started kissing me. I don't even like this scene, but apparently it will do well for the Cooper-Lila ship."

Uh oh, she's started on her ranting. Most times I don't even understand what she's talking about, but it's always something about her TV show, Blessed and Cursed. "Mom, I have to talk to you," I say before she can get going.

"Fine," she says, eying me. "Shoot away."

"It's about my anxiety and the baby."

She sighs. "I had a feeling it would come to this. Everything seems to."

I look at her, confused. "Come to what?"

"Oh, you know, honey cakes. A confession."

"A confession?" I questioned, angered. "That is totally the opposite of what I mean. I didn't come here to lay myself at your feet, begging for forgiveness! If anything, that's what you should be doing! You're the one who's ruined my life!"

Lauren stares at me. "Micah, dear, you can calm down."

I glare at her, seething. I should have known this was a bad idea. No conversation with my mom has ever ended happily. She seems to have that effect on me.

"Micah, you have to understand that it was an accident," she says, finally.

"What, me or the baby?" I counter.

She looks hurt. "You were never a mistake, Micah Elizabeth Tanner," she says in a low voice. Her tone has completely changed, and I think, though I may be hallucinating, that I can see that her eyes are slightly wet. "It's true I didn't mean to give birth to you, but it's not like I don't love you. You're my daughter. Of course I love you."

Suddenly, I feel taken aback. I can't remember a time that my mom has ever told me she loves me. She's used her "endearing phrases", but she's never outright said I love you. My eyes start to fill up with tears, and suddenly I'm in her arms, and she's holding me like a mother should, never wanting to let me go.

"I've always just assumed you thought I was just another mouth to feed," I sob. She rubs my head lightly, running her fingers through my thick hair. Her nails massage my scalp, soothing me.

"Never, Micah," Lauren replies, using a nice, dulcet tone. "You've never been that. You've always been so special to me, even when it didn't seem like it. I'm sorry for everything I've put you through. You've had to work through too much and it's all my fault. Over the past few weeks, I've been thinking about all of it.

Another should never make her child do something she doesn't want to do. I should shave let you have more control over you life. Too many times have I forced you into acting in commercials and doing interviews. Your whole life I've been trying to publicize you, when I really should have been protecting you from the world.

There are so many things I did that I shouldn't have done, and if I could do it all over again, I would make it right. I've ruined you life, Micah, and I'm sorry. You couldn't understand how sorry I am."

I smile, blinking back more tears. Then I wrap my arms around her and bury my face in her chest. "I forgive you," I say, softly. "And I love you."

She kisses my forehead.

"You know," I say, "Now that we've got all our cries out and forgiven each other, we should celebrate."

Lauren smiles, and her face lights up beautifully. "Good idea. I think there're a few cupcakes left in the fridge."

I nod, grinning. Then we stand up and walk together out of the room.

~ T H E   E N D ~