With Hollywood's resident sweetheart as her mother, of course Micah Tanner is lapping up the fame.
Or is she?
In truth, Micah suffers from a Social Anxiety Disorder...
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The kiss takes me off guard.
His lips are surprisingly warm. His arms wrap around me in a tight embrace, pulling me in. I can't help but open my eyes and I'm instantly transfixed by his gaze.
The cool wind whips up my loose hair, sending it flying around my shoulder. I can feel Nick's mouth pull up into a smile, and he pulls me in closer.
Suddenly I feel a nervous wave of anxiety sweeping my gut and stomach. I frantically pull away, afraid. I reach into my purse to pull out a jar of medicine I had bought a few weeks ago. It is supposed to help, but this is my first trial.
"What's wrong?" Nick asks, worry in his voice, his eyebrows furrowed. His arms are still loosely around me, fingers clasped at my back.
I am gasping for breath as I shove three of the tiny red pills into the back of my mouth, swallowing them instantly. I feel them as they travel down my throat, and I breath out heavily through my nose. I clench my fists.
I'm so mad at myself. Why did I let this happen?! An anxiety attack right in front of my crush! My first kiss too, and this is how it ends! Shit. Shit shit shit shit shit.
I shake my head to clear the angry thoughts coursing through. Nick releases, and I wander over to the railing, guarding the edge of the overlook. In the distance, the sun is halfway down, sending colorful banners of light through the deep blue sky. The beautiful sight seems to soothe me.
I hear Nick come up beside me, and he rests his hands on the fence, leaning over. "Micah?" he asks, sounding worried.
I turn to face him and see the apologetic look on his face.
"Nick...."
"Micah, I'm so sorry," he blurts, his hands fidgeting. "I shouldn't have done that. It was stupid. I just thought that maybe.......maybe we...." He trails off, his face serious, eyes fixed on mine. I stare deep into his pupils, the lush blackness of them mesmerizing me. Just the eyes themselves are stunning, completing the beauty of his face.
"Its fine," I say, turning away to look back at the sky. He's right. He shouldn't have done that. It's all his fault I'm freaking out. I want to tell him this, but I know it would be cruel.
"Are you sure?" He moves toward me, but I back away, brushing my hair back.
"No, I'm fine. I had a mini panic attack. It was nothing."
"I know you have anxiety, but is it that bad?" He looks at me rather concerned, worry clouding his eyes like a storm.
"Yeah. I guess," I pause, thinking. I guess I should tell him. After all, he is kind of my boyfriend now. "My mom likes to keep things quiet about my anxiety. I have SAD. That's Social Anxiety Disorder. It's kinda personal. I freak out at random times. I have attacks every few days or so. It's....umm.....kinda ruining my life." I look up at Nick, watching him register what I just said.
"I have a hard time believing that," he says, half-grinning at me. "Everyone talks about you. They say your life is a fairy tale."
"A fairy tale? Give me a break," I scoff. Surely the world can't think I'm a princess or something. "That is even more ridiculous than some of the rumors the tabloids make up about my mother. Why would they think my life is a fairy tale?"
Nick is fully grinning now, his cheeks creased and eyes squinting. "How would I know? With a mother like yours, it must be like the Brother's Grimm version. You know, the really dark ones where they all die."
I laugh, reassured. Nick is not like the rest of the world. He detests the paparazzi just as much as I do, and wishes that his mother wasn't so famous. If I got to choose my boyfriend, it would be him. So I guess I got lucky.
"I have something else I want to show you," he says, turning back towards the car. He beckons for me to follow him, and I do. I slide into the leather seat, which has cooled down by now, and secure the seat belt.
I hope it's not your lips again, I think silently, remembering the kiss.
Nick drives along the main road for about three more minutes, until he pulls into the parking lot of a minimall. The mall is closed, it's doors locked and chained. Nick opens his door and steps out of the car. I follow suit. As soon as I feel the cool wind, I wish I had brought a coat. It is definitely dusk now, and the sun has set.
Nick wraps one arm around me, his fleece jacket slightly warming me.
"Why are we here?" I ask, shivering slightly. I rub my hands together like they do in the movies.
Nick looks down at me, grinning. "I know how much you want to learn to drive."
My heart stops for a second. He's going to teach me to drive. It must be to make up for kissing me.
"Can't we get back in the car then?" I stammer, turning my head to look up at him.
He snickers, suddenly noticing my shivering. "Yes." His short brown hair is tousled a bit from the crisp wind, and I know that mine must be flying.
I reach my hands up to wrangle my loose hair and I twist it up into a messy bun, securing it with a hair-tie. There is still some strands dangling in front of my eyes. I hope Nick doesn't notice that I intentionally left those hairs out. It looks better that way, my mother used to tell me. There is art to looking stunning and effortless at the same time.
We turn back to the car, and this time I get into the driver's seat, Nick beside me. He hands me the keys, and I fiddle with them for a few seconds. The rough metal is capped with a plastic handle, almost identical to my mother's. I have seen my mother drive before, though when I'm in a car, it is usually Alex's.
I carefully slide the keys into the ignition, aware that Nick is watching me closely. This is the one step I know.
"Now what?" I ask, turning to Nick
"Now, make sure your foot is on the brake," he says, indicating the left pedal. I station my left foot on it, but he leans down and flicks it off. "Use your right foot for both."
"Why?" I ask, confused.
He smiles. "Don't ask me. That's the rule."
"Okay," I say, chuckling nervously. "What's next?"
"Turn the key to start the engine," he instructs.
I reach my hand up towards the key and realize it is shaking. This is a big moment. I twist the key clockwise until I hear the soft humming of the engine start up. I sit back in the seat, placing my hands on the steering wheel. I exhale quietly, trying not to let Nick notice my hesitance.
"Put it in drive, now, Mikes," Nick says, pointing down at the gearshift. I shift the handle back so it is next to the letter D.
Next, I carefully lift my foot off the brake pedal, and the car begins creeping forward. I take a deep breath, focusing. It's okay, Micah, I reassure myself. You can do this.
I notice Nick grinning as I slowly move my shaking foot to the accelerator, lowering it. Then I slowly curl down my toes and ever so slightly press down. The car immediately lurches forward, startling me, and I wildly spring my knee up.
"Mikes, it's okay," Nick says, resting his hand on my shoulder.
"I know."
I shake head, pulling back my hair so it is out of my face. There's no point in looking effortless when you might die.
Slowly, I put my foot back on the pedal, and it starts forward a little more smoothly this time. I place my hands back on the steering wheel, turning to the right, pulling the car out of the parking space.
I steer around the bend of the empty parking lot, accelerating a bit on the straight. I feel the ends of my lips pull up into a satisfied smile.
