Daughter of Voldemort

I'M NOT GONNA BE SUSHI!!! *WARNING: Spoiler alert*

Re-Cap:

I wondered why they gave me this dress before they were going to eat me.

Was I supposed to look presentable on a plate?

I guess even human-eaters have etiquette.

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As I walked, my swishy dress reminded me of the movements of a jellyfish. I felt like I should move my arms to match the movement of the dress. 

And so I did. For a short while. I wasn't so stupid as to embarrass myself in front of another species. I mean come on, humans are one thing and Mermaids another. I could be as stupid as I wanted in front of humans since I didn't care what they thought; but right now I was basically an ambassador of sorts, and as a representative for the human species I would damn well try to act normal.

I pressed my lips together, nervousness building in my stomach.

I really didn't want to be eaten.  It wasn't the way I imagined I would go. Can you imagine what I would be telling my fellow dearly departed? It would go something like: Oh, you died from old age? I was cooked!

Man, I wished I had brought my wand. I hadn't even had it with me during the sorting. 

We reached huge overarching doors and I had to crane my neck up to read what was written at the top of the door. 

It read, "Curia Regum."

I frowned. I had no clue what it meant, but it probably said, "Here we cook Humans," or, "Mmm, Tastes like Chicken!"

A McDonald's commercial popped up in my head. Did they have McDonald's down here? Because seriously, those guys are EVERYWHERE.

I turned to the Mermaid on my left (the one who had been angrily singing opera to me this morning) to ask her, when the doors swung open.

I lied- it didn't swing open, it hobbled open. We literally stood there for five minutes until we heard angry cursing - at least I thought it was cursing - and grunts as ten pairs of slimy fingers on each side tried dragging the door open. 

I snorted; wow, so much for being intimidating. If this was how their doors worked, I didn't even want to know the situation their government was in.

Finally, the doors were opened enough to squeeze through- and when I say squeeze,  I mean it involved some stomach sucking and pulling from the other side to pop me through. I wondered if this was how it felt to be a baby coming out of the womb.

Hey. Don't judge.

Once I was through, I helped the Mermaids pull the angry opera singing Mermaid through the door. Let me tell you she was a bit on the overweight side, so it took a lot more effort to try pulling her through. 

After a couple minutes of pulling, I nearly smacked my forehead when I realized we could rub lotion on her belly and back to help her slide through. Although, would Mermaids have lotion? Maybe it was butter to suggest butter or oil. They use it all the time to cook humans, right?

"Um... butter?" I asked, waving my arms around and pointing on the Mermaid's back and belly.

At the blank look on their faces, I tried pantomiming butter, but after ten minutes realized that wasn't working either.

"Ugh!" I cried dramatically, falling to my knees. "Why?" I shouted, pulling at my hair.

"As much as I love a good game of pantomime, I'll just save you the trouble of translation," said a voice beside me.