Atonement

{Eight} Everything and Anything

“I could be cold/ I could be ruthless/ You know I could be just like you.”

-Just Like You, Three Days Grace

  Despite my reservations in leaving, I didn’t say anything to Russ. I decided to just be quiet. He’s gone through enough on my behalf. Besides, living and keeping my brother alive was a little more important to me than the off-chance that Cap still cared about me. And, once again, I had to remind myself that there was absolutely no future for us.

  So, really, it was better to just leave.

  “Just think of the day we left,” Russ instructed me, clutching both my hands.

  Halfheartedly, I concentrated solely on thinking about the day we left—the second time, of course. And, unlike last time, the only thing I thought about was that day. There was no way I’d risk screwing this up again.

  But after a minute I realized nothing was happening. There was no familiar tingle of energy passing between my brother and I. No familiar wave of dizziness had hit me. We stood there, willing this to happen….and nothing had changed.

  While I stood there in dazed confusion, Russ looked ready to panic. “I don’t understand…” he muttered. His eyes were wide with fright. “Josie, are you—”

  “Yes,” I snapped before he could finish his sentence.

  My brother shook his head in wonderment. “I don’t get it…It should be working! We’re both thinking about the same thing…Oh my God, Jose, what if we’re stuck here?!”

  “Russ, calm down…”

  He ripped his hands away from mine, raking them through his hair. “Oh my God, oh my God,” he kept repeating under his breath. He looked on the edge of a nervous breakdown.

  I stepped closer to him, laying my hand on his arm soothingly. “You’ve gotta calm down,” I whispered. “We’re not stuck here. Something’s just up. Maybe we can’t go because we’re supposed to stay a bit longer?”

  Russ snorted a bitter laugh. “Of course you’d say that! You just wanna stay here and be with a guy that totally hates your guts!”

  I recoiled as if he’d slapped me. “Russ…”

  “It’s pathetic!” he raged on. “You must be masochistic or something to still wanna be with him!”

  I knew my brother. I knew he was only saying these things because he was freaking out. But that didn’t make it hurt any less. “Shut up,” I warned, looking toward the door warily. “Hey, they’ll hear you, idiot. Pipe down!”