Atonement

{Six} Dity Water

“I’m so afraid of waking. Please don’t shake me.”

-So Far Away, Staind

    Devil Anse hadn’t been kidding when he’d suggested I stay in imprisonment for a few more days. No one came to the barn where I was being held. Sometimes, when I dozed off for a minute or two, I’d find a small glass of mostly dirty water by the door but that was it. I wasn’t sure how long I’d actually been in the barn, but it’d been a while.

  When I slept, it wasn’t that much. I’d always wake up in the middle of the night freezing cold. My layers added a lot of unwanted warmth in the heat but surprisingly kept little heat in when the temperature dropped. It was only sometime in September. It wasn’t that bad, but for a girl who was used to bundling up in as many layers as she needed in cooler weather….

  The bad thing was when the barn was hot it was hot, and when it was cold it was cold. There was no in between. And all I had to go on was filthy water.

  The first time I’d noticed the cold, I’d braved it out. But the second time…I didn’t care if it was improper or not. I used my skirt as a blanket. Surprisingly, it turned out fairly well. Of course I wasn’t sure who had been bringing the water and what kind of glimpse they’d gotten of me, either. At least they got their eyeful before they killed me.

  My plan to convince Cap was failing miserably. For some reason I thought maybe he’d show up at some point, but he never did. I guess I’d read too much into his little gestures. How typical of me. I didn’t care what he thought or the fact that this was a completely different era for me. I couldn’t help being immensely hurt. As much as I tried to remember what Cap had been going through and that he was justified in thinking little of me, I just couldn’t hold back my hurt and betrayed feelings.

  It didn’t matter anyway. What could ever become of my silly infatuation with him? A few damn good kisses here and there—assuming those were moments when he didn’t hate me? I had to keep reminding myself that this was all for the best. As hard as it was and as painful as it felt it was for the best. Besides, in a year from now he’d be married.

  Married to the woman he was always meant to be with.

  A woman who was not me. I had to remember that.

  I had to focus on Russ and getting out of here. But the Hatfields were too smart. It was like they knew I needed Russ to escape or something. I knew keeping us apart was for the purpose of getting either of us to talk, but it sure felt like they knew. Of course, that was stupid and impossible, but the coincidence worked well in their favor. Not only could Russ and I not escape, but I was also getting antsy not knowing where he was or what they were doing to him.

   I had to think; had to formulate a plan. But how was I going to get passed these damn Hatfields? For one, I wasn’t even sure how many of them there were, and two, I was unarmed. How the hell would I hope to flee while they had the means to take me down? I wouldn’t doubt it for a second if Cap was the one to do it. I’d seen how well he could shoot. If I got far enough away….

  How the hell was I going to pull this off?

  A little while later, sometime after the sun had gone down and I’d dozed off, the barn door creaked open. Quietly, I lifted my head and squinted in the dark. Selfishly I hoped it was Cap who’d been leaving me the water.

  But, no, the silhouette was too short to be Cap. A white nightgown billowed in the wind as the figure stooped down to pick up the empty cup, replacing it with a full one.