A Bad Boy's Brother (Book #2)

8. Leave

Ryder's P.O.V.

When I say my heart stopped, I wasn't kidding. It actually stopped for a moment as I looked at the boy with white hair. It was completely white now, as were his eyelashes. I could see that much from here. Which said a lot about what he could see from where he was standing. "Corey," I whispered.

Cain retracted, seeming hurt. "I'm not Corey, Ryder."

"No," I agreed. "I know you're not. But that is."

The hurt vanished immediately, changing places with confusion, then realization and slight dread as he turned to look over his shoulder at his brother.

For a long time, the three of us were silent.

"Hello, Ryder," Corey said finally.

I felt emotion shoot through my body so viciously that it actually hurt. No. No, this isn't fair. I just got over you, you can't be back. I want Cain. I don't need you anymore. No. You...you can't be here. You just can't be. Anger, pain, sadness, hurt. So many emotions shot through me that I couldn't move or speak to reply to him. What was I supposed to say to him? Hello? That seemed like one hell of a lame thing to say to someone that you hadn't seen in over a year. To someone that shredded your life and sent it up in flame just because they could. To someone that had completely destroyed everything in your life that had been going well.

To someone that you had fallen in love with.

My hands began shaking, and I curled them in to fists in an attempt to still them.

Finally, I was able to find my voice. "Leave."

Hurt flickered across his face, then anger. "Why? So you can go back to kissing my brother?"

"What's it to you?" I snapped angrily. "You stepped out of my life. You chose that. You don't get a say."

"I should have gotten one," he snarled.

"You did. You got to have a say in whether or not you left. And you chose to leave. So do it right now, Corey. Leave. Now. I don't want you here."

His fists were clear through his hoodie. He was angry.

But not nearly as angry as I was.

"Fine," he spat, turning around and walking away.

I stared after him as he got to his car, slamming the door of it hard enough that he set off the car alarm, and my legs felt weak the second he was out of sight, skidding down my street.

"Ryder? Are you okay?"

"I want to go inside," I whispered.

"Okay. Let's go inside, then. We can talk about this."

"I don't want to talk," I said, still unable to get my voice above a whisper.

"Then I'll just stay with you."

He didn't want to leave, and I could understand that, but I wanted him to leave. It would send so many messages to him, so many incorrect messages that I didn't want to send, but I needed him to be gone for what was about to happen. I could feel myself on the verge of breaking again, and he didn't need to see it.

I looked at him beggingly. "Please go, Cain. I..."

Pain seared his eyes. "You saw Corey, and now you want him instead of me. Is that it?"

"No. I just...I feel so...please, Cain."

His eyes were so uncertain that I thought he might just come inside with me anyway.

I forced myself forward to kiss him reassuringly. "I only want you," I whispered when I pulled away from him. "I just need to...deal with this, right now. Can you understand that?"

"Do you promise not to leave me because he came back?"

"I promise, Cain."

His eyes searched my face, and seeing nothing that led him to not believe me, he stepped back from me. "I'll be here tomorrow," he murmured gently, trailing his fingers down my cheek gently. "You don't have to come to my house if you don't feel comfortable with it, Ryder. I'm here for you either way, alright?"

I nodded, my hands still shaking. I wasn't sure how much longer I could keep myself together.

Cain kissed my forehead gently, sent me one more look, and got in his car. When he was out of view, I walked inside, picked up Sky, and laid on the couch, hugging her against my chest numbly. There were so many emotions that it felt like no emotion at all. It was the emotional equivalent of having jumped in to the pool after sitting in the hot tub for over an hour. I pulled Sky tightly against me, memories of Corey flashing through my head. Then, memories of Cain. Both sets of memories were so perfect on the surface.

I buried my face in Sky's fur, the numbness spreading further.

Eventually, it reached my head, and I couldn't think anymore. Seeing him, talking to him, telling him that I didn't want him there, had actually caused my body to shut down. He was destroying me, again. And he hadn't even spoken more than twenty words to me, and he had already sent me spiraling back to the horrible abyss that I had been trapped in for ten months after he left.

He hadn't been there for two minutes, and he had managed to inflict a year's worth of pain.

After laying on the couch for what felt like an eternity, I had finally come to a decision.

I wasn't going to give in to Corey. I wasn't going to let him wreck my life by doing whatever he was trying to do by coming back now. I wasn't going to fall back in to whatever trap he had set for me the year before when he had told me that he was in love with me, and I wasn't going to let him break the bond that I had developed with Cain. I deserved to be happy again. I deserved to have the opportunity to be happy with someone that wasn't Corey, someone that wouldn't make me want to crawl inside of a hole and stay there for as long as humanly possible.

I deserved to be completely over Corey.

And I was damn sure going to make that happen.