Restless In Reuniting (Boyxboy)

4- Tainted Innocence

[A/N]: Here's an extra long chapter to make up for the small absence. Here is a picture of the rare orchid! It's beautiful! Warning, there is a little bit of sexual assault towards the end. Please comment to tell me what you think so far! Even if you have suggestions, too. There is an additional author's note at the end about a special announcement. Stay tuned. :)

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Nikolai's POV

One week. That is the amount of time it takes to finally declare myself as a psychotic and unstable person. One week. That is the amount of time since I have last seen, or thought I had seen Julian, a former Fae warrior that I have worked alongside with before. Day and night, I ponder over the thought that no one is coming to save me. I have come to the realization that it is I that needs to save myself. It is time to stop relying on others to help me. To care for me. To hold me. I need to be held accountable for my own mistakes and how to handle them.

Yet, right now, I need someone. I need the comfort and care of another to support and encourage me. It's too hard on a daily basis to remain in this luxurious cage, acting as if there isn't anything wrong. I wish for others to realize that they are also committing a crime by following their malicious leader. Though, I remember that I have done the same before and I shouldn't remain so hypocritical of others. Maybe these accomplices' lives are on the line as well as their families. Perhaps that is the true reason why there hasn't been any successful discoveries of Elian or even Ambrogio, because I caused all this. Just me.

A knock of the door expels all previous thoughts and they reside to the back of my mind for now as I walk over. The open door reveals the two loveliest Fae on this entire estate. The only two that I have brought myself to trust and confide to without fear of being punished or judged. Eva and Raven are my crutches to lean on when times are rough, they are the Fae that minimize consequences of Aeron when seen as unfit.

Eva flutters over to my bed where I have a dozen of books out and they're  all over the bed. Books have kept me occupied for the most part, because they are able transport me to a different reality than the treacherous one I am living in. Me emotions, thoughts, and mind are captured by the intensity of the book that everything else around me is numbed to a point of not feeling true emotions.

"What a mess!Don't you ever think to tidy up in here?" She lightly teases as she makes the bed for me.

"I think it is time to get some fresh air for the day, don't you?" Rave suggests as she walks towards me in anticipation to raise her hand and rest it upon my cheek in a means of care.

I slowly nod, knowing that without these two, I would have never gone anywhere besides my room. Once ready, we exit the room in caution to try as much as possible to avoid contact with Aeron. Aeron is the last person that I'd like to accidentally stumble upon when roaming the estate, only needing to truly be in his presence when it is demanded.

There are guards posted every few yards, all stoic and ready to comply to their leader. I have found myself to constantly scan the faces of these guards, for a familiar look of Julian's face. This entire week has steadily decreased my hopes of finding him again. If he was even here in the first place.

The garden is like those in the Celestial Hala pack house and Elian's castle, with flourishing and delicate flowers growing everywhere. Sometimes, enchanted powders are placed on the petals of flowers, so that all year round, they are still as healthy and beautiful as ever.

Raven and Eva spread out, tending to the flowers as I am left to collect a few to place in a vase in my room. As I bend down to pluck a few rare orchids that I have never come by before in my days, I feel a particular gaze on my back.